Joke #5601

How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner.
Vote:
has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

On his Birthday, a man named Peter was really upset because none of his family members or near and dear ones wished him. As he walked into his office, his secretary Anna said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!" He felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered. In the lunch time Anna knocked on his door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your Birthday, why don't we go out for lunch, just you and me." Peter happily agreed They had their lunch but on the way back to the office, Anna said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day... We don't have to go right back to the office, do we?" Peter replied "I suppose not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's go to my apartment, it's just around the corner." After arriving at her apartment, Anna said, "Boss if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back." "Ok." He nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes; she came out carrying a huge birthday cake... Followed by his wife, his kids, and dozens of his friends, and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday". And Peter just sat there... On the couch... Naked!
Vote:
has 85.47 % from 1619 votes. More jokes about: birthday, family, food, men
Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.
Vote:
has 69.44 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, sex, women
Men call us birds, is that because of all the worms we pick up?
Vote:
has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: bird, men
A man in the Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask his manager about it. Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standingright behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half." The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?" "Canada, sir," the boy replied. "Well, why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked. The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there." "Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada." "No sh*t?" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?"
Vote:
has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: men
A guy walked into his friend’s office. He found his friend sitting at his desk, looking very depressed. "Hey, what’s up with you?," he asked. "Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She’s hired a new secretary for me." "Well, nothing wrong in that," he said, "Is she blonde or brunette?" "Neither. He’s bald."
Vote:
has 79.91 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: men
Susan was having a tough day and after returning home she started complaining. She said to her husband, "Nobody loves me….nobody cares for me..the whole world hates me!" Her husband, watching TV said casually: "That’s not true dear. You are not that famous that whole world hates you. Some people don’t even know you."
Vote:
has 74.95 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: husband, love, men
A man ask his wife, "What would you do if I won the lottery?" Wife says, "I would take half and leave you". Man says, "Great! I have won a tenner, here a fiver now f*ck off!
Vote:
has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: men
I only wanted to have a child, not marry one.
Vote:
has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men
What usually happens when a man puts his best foot forward? It ends up in his mouth.
Vote:
has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: men
What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders? A scrotum pole!
Vote:
has 76.89 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: men