Joke #5146

What's small, and red, and full of holes? A baby on a bed of nails.

Two cannibals just got their hands on a corpse. One says to the other, "I'll start at the head, you start at the feet." They start to eat, and after awhile the one at the head yells to the other one, "Hey, how's it going?" The other replies, "I'm having a ball!" Getting mad, the one at the head yells, "Dammit, slow down, you're eating too fast!"

Yo mama so damn short, she uses salt shaker as a toilet.

How does herpes leave the hospital? On crotches.

Three guys compare their levels of intoxication from a party the previous night. The first guy says, "Man, I was so drunk last night, I went home and blew chunks." The second guy says, "I was so drunk last night, I woke up this morning on my front porch." The third guy says, "I was so drunk last night, I took a prostitute home to my wife." The first guy exclaims, "You guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog!"

Q: How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? A: Pick it up and suck it's dick.

Two guys always catch the train to work together; one is French, the other Italian. Every morning when the French guy gets on, he passes his fingers underneath his nose while sniffing and says "Aaahhh... Fifi!" He does this every day, so the Italian guy says to him one morning, "Why do you do that and say 'Aaahhh... Fifi!'?" The French man explaines that Fifi is his wife, and he fingers her every morning and it reminds him of her all day. The next morning, the French guy gets on the trains and sniffs his fingers saying, "Fifi!" Then the Italian guy gets on and runs his whole arm under his nose and says, "Aaahhh... Maria!"

What's black, smells and has 17 tits? The bin bags outside the breast cancer ward.

What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.

What bounces up and down at 100mph? A baby tied to the back of a truck.

Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.