Joke #5146

What's small, and red, and full of holes? A baby on a bed of nails.
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: disgusting

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So that there be less strife May your dreams be sweet And your ass does not tweet tonight.
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, poems, vulgar
In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?" The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night." The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy. The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?" The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address! During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl. The cat replies, "He is here!" and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."
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has 41.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, cat, disgusting, time
What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? See ya next month.
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has 59.88 % from 203 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, lesbian, time
Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup? Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, food
Q: Did you hear about the redneck who was shooting craps? A: He blew a hole in the toilet.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, redneck
How is a soyburger like a dildo? They're both substitutes for meat.
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has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, masturbation
"Hey Jaeger, are you enjoying that apple?" "Sure, why do you ask." "I was going to offer you some toast." "How kind of... I'll accept." "Great, but what's toast without any butter Jaeger." "You're right about that!" "Well give me a few seconds, let me go scrape some off of your mother's teeth!"
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, time
I got home to see my two months pregnant wife crouched in the bathroom crying. Her red, smudged eyes looked at me as she told me she'd lost the baby. I told the silly thing not to be so upset, I could clearly see it in the toilet.
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting, wife
Knock knock. Who's there? Urine. Urine who? Urine trouble if you don't open the door.
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, knock-knock
What's red and lies in all four corners of the room? A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
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has 31.53 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting