Joke #7035

Q: Which American duo became famous for stealing horses? A: Bonnie and Clydesdale.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal

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What's a rabbits favourite car? Any make, just as long it's a hutchback.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
What happens when you kiss a canary? You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, health, parrot
A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the Pearly Gates, petted her on the head and said, "You have been a good cat for these 40 years. Anything that you want is yours for the asking." The cat thought for a minute and replied, "All my life I have lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on." God said, "Say no more." Instantly the cat had a huge, fluffy pillow. A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident, and they all went to heaven together. God met them at the gates of Heaven with the same offer He made to the cat. The mice said, "Well, all our lives we've had to run from dogs, cats and even people with brooms. If we could just have some little roller skates, we'd never have to run again." God said, "It is done!" All the mice had beautiful little roller skates. About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, "Is everything okay? How you been doing? Are you happy?" The cat replied, "Oh, I've never been so happy in my life! My pillow is so fluffy, and those little meals-on-wheels you've been sending over here are delicious!"
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has 60.88 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, god, heaven, life
At a restaurant, one of the customers notices that all of the waiters have two spoons in their vest pockets. A waiter explains, "We see that the most frequently dropped silverware is spoons, therefore we keep them for replacement." Then the customer notices a string hanging out of all the waiters' flies. "The string is for us to go to the bathroom," explains the waiter. "That way, when we pull it, it shoots and aims straight, and we don't need to use our hands." The customer asks, "Well, that's how you get it out, but how do you get it back in?" The waiter replies, "Well, that's another reason we carry the spoons."
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first. - Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)
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has 81.98 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, death, friendship
A man had a party where all the rich people attend. And the he had a pool with alligators. So he announced that anyone who will swim across this pool and come out alive will be granted three wishes. But no one wanted to go for the challenge. All of a sudden, there was a big splash and a man was swimming like a hell and came out alive. So the host asked, "What are your three wishes?" The man replied, "Give me the shotgun and bulllets and show me the idiot that pushed me in..."
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has 71.29 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: animal, men, party
I heard my tire thumping, I thought it was flat. When I looked at my tire I discovered your cat. Sorry...
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has 20.85 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
A duck walks into a pet store and asked the owner if he sold “duck-food” here. The owner said; “no, I don’t sell duck food here”. The next day the duck went back to the same pet store, and asked the owner again if he sold “duck-food” here. The owner became very angry and said; “if you ask me for “duck-food” one more time, I am going to nail your web feet to the floor!” The duck came back on the third day and asked the owner of the pet store; “do you sell any hammer and nails here?” The owner answered; “no, I don’t sell any hammer and nails here”. The duck then asked; “do you sell any “duck-food” here”?
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
How is a rabbit like a plum? They re both purple, except for the rabbit.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
How do you get a hundred cows in a barn? You hang up a bingo sign!
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has 19.47 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal