Q: Which American duo became famous for stealing horses?
A: Bonnie and Clydesdale.
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Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?"
Kangaroo: "I can't find my children"
Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?"
Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
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Little Billy looks at the chimpanzees from the zoo.
Mama, little Billy shouts, this monkey looks like our neighbour, Mr. Danny.
Billy, it’s not polite to talk like that!
Why? The chimpanzee doesn’t understand...
Some say Chuck once sneezed a rhino inside out.
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What did one slug say to another who had hit him and rushed off?
I ll get you next slime.
Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes?
A: Slow clowns.
During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer:
Change the last line of the Lord’s prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken" and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities.
The Pope declined.
2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again.
This time with a 50 million dollar offer.
Again the Pope declined.
A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts.
At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format.
The good news is… that we have 100 million dollars for charities.
The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
What do you call explosive cow vomit?
A cud missle.
What do you call a rabbit who is real cool?
A hip hopper.