Q: Which American duo became famous for stealing horses? A: Bonnie and Clydesdale.
A panda walks into a bar, sits down and order a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for Panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."
Why are rabbits never gold? How would you tell them apart from goldfish?
An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints. The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint. The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow. The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"
Where do sharks come from? Sharkago.
What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull? A steak-out.
Which big cat should you never play cards with? A cheetah.
White owl: who who. Black owl: who dat who dat.
What do you call a dog wearing ear muffs? Anything you want, he cant hear you.
Q: What creature has more lives than a cat? A: A frog, after all, they croak every night.
How did the instructor try to make horse riding enjoyable? He tried to stirrup some interest!