Q: Which American duo became famous for stealing horses?
A: Bonnie and Clydesdale.
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Why did the frog walk across the road?
He didn't... he jumped.
Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.
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What’s black and white and makes a lot of noise?
A zebra with a drum kit.
Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
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A man buys a pet parrot and brings him home.
But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really nasty, so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson.
He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden the parrot is quiet.
The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, "I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness."
The man says, "Well, thank you. I forgive you."
The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the chicken do?"
A beautiful princess comes upon a frog in a meadow near her castle.
The frog hops into the princess' lap and says, "My lady, one kiss from you, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I once was, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set-up housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever be happy doing so."
That night, as the princess dines on lightly sauteed frog legs, she chuckles to herself, "I don't f**kin' think so."
Which rabbit stole from the rich to give to the poor?
Rabbit Hood.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and sheep?
A wooly jumper.