Q: Which American duo became famous for stealing horses?
A: Bonnie and Clydesdale.
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How does a frog confuse you?
When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.
Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey.
He chews bees...
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Some say Chuck once sneezed a rhino inside out.
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Imagine being completely naked in room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you...
This is life of a dog.
Q: What is a zebra?
A: A horse behind bars.
An aquarium is just interactive television for cats.
How do you tell if a black girls pregnant?
Shove a banana up her vagina and if you pull it out half eaten then you got a monkey on the way.
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What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football.
During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning.
But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game.
When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede,
“Where were you during the first half?”
He replied “Putting on my shoes!”.
A duck walks into a pet store and asked the owner if he sold “duck-food” here.
The owner said; “no, I don’t sell duck food here”.
The next day the duck went back to the same pet store, and asked the owner again if he sold “duck-food” here.
The owner became very angry and said; “if you ask me for “duck-food” one more time, I am going to nail your web feet to the floor!”
The duck came back on the third day and asked the owner of the pet store; “do you sell any hammer and nails here?”
The owner answered; “no, I don’t sell any hammer and nails here”.
The duck then asked; “do you sell any “duck-food” here”?