Q: Which American duo became famous for stealing horses? A: Bonnie and Clydesdale.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways? "Dead."
Lion wakes up in the jungle and finds that a tool is missing, he goes to elephant and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Elephant replies: "What does it look like?" Lion: "Well it's got four points on it." Elephant: "Sorry, I haven't seen it, try mouse." So the Lion goes to the mouse and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Mouse: "What does it look like?" Lion: "Well it's got four points on it." Mouse: "Sorry mate, I've not seen it, try croc." So the lion proceeds to the crocodile and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Croc: "What does it look like?" Lion: "Well it's got four points on it." Croc: "Sorry I've not seen it, try Jaguar." So the lion goes to Jaguar and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Jaguar: "Of course, I ate it." Lion: "Why did you do that?" Jaguar: "Well I'm a four point tool eater Jaguar."
A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed. After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains. He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there. "Who the hell are you?" he yells. The naked guy replies, "I'm the moth inspector." "Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?" He looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, I'm too late!"
What is a Zebra? A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.
A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, "These sleepovers are killing me."
Why are dolphins cleverer than humans? Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish.
What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Spot.
Q: What do you call a horse that plays the violin in a musical? A: Fiddler on the hoof.
Two snakes are talking. One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?" The other replays, "Yes,why?..." "I just bit ma lip."
Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater? A: I don’t know. I didn’t think sheep could knit!