Why couldn't the skunk use her phone?
It was out of odor!
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Every day after work two blondes would look for their cars together.
Since they could never remember where they parked, they would sit around until all the cars were gone and they could spot their vehicles.
One blonde says "We need to find a faster way to get home."
The next day, they come to work on a donkey.
After work they come out and see a donkey tied to the fence.
"I think we're going to have to wait again, " says the one blonde.
"I'm not convinced that's our donkey."
"Why not?" asks the second blonde.
The first blonde says, "Well, this donkey only has one a**hole, and this morning when we rode in, I distinctly overhead someone say, "Hey look at those two a**holes on that donkey."
What is the feeling that you've smelled a certain skunk before?
Deja phew.
Q: What is a thespian pony?
A: A little horse play
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
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A punk rocker gets on the bus with green, yellow, purple and orange hair.
An old guy sitting on the bus stares at him, and the punk says, "What's the matter, old man, didn't you ever do anything wild in your life?"
And the old man says, "Yeah, one time I fucked a parrot. I thought maybe you were my kid."
What did the cow wear to the football game?
A Jersey.
What's the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper !
What do you call a bear with no teeth, a gummy bear!
Teacher: "Name five things that contain milk."
Pupil: "Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows."