Joke #3715

What to polar bears eat for lunch? (Ice berg-ers!)
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has 22.04 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?" The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue." The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo." "Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away. The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car. "Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo." "Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time. Today I am taking them to the beach."
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, car
Why did the frog cross the street? Because the chicken crossed the road.
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has 13.47 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician are on a train in Scotland. The astronomer looks out of the window, sees a black sheep standing in a field, and remarks, "How odd. Scottish sheep are black." "No, no, no!" says the physicist. "Only some Scottish sheep are black." The mathematician rolls his eyes at his companions' muddled thinking and says, "In Scotland, there is at least one field, containing at least one sheep, at least one side of which appears black from here."
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has 66.60 % from 138 votes. More jokes about: animal, math
Q. Why don't lions eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny.
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has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball. Abe turns to Sol and asks, "Do you think there's baseball in Heaven?" Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal -- if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same." They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. Soon afterward, Sol sits in the park feeding the pigeons by himself and hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol... ." Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?" "Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost. Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in Heaven?" "Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news." "Gimme the good news first," says Sol. Abe says, "Well, there is baseball in Heaven." Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?" Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."
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has 85.14 % from 681 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, heaven, sport
Q: Why are fish so smart? A: Because they live in schools.
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has 55.34 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: animal
A punk rocker gets on the bus with green, yellow, purple and orange hair. An old guy sitting on the bus stares at him, and the punk says, "What's the matter, old man, didn't you ever do anything wild in your life?" And the old man says, "Yeah, one time I fucked a parrot. I thought maybe you were my kid."
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has 77.32 % from 172 votes. More jokes about: animal, life, sex
What did the cow wear to the football game? A Jersey.
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, football, game
Which big cat should you never play cards with? A cheetah.
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, game
What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn? A Moles Royce.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal