Joke #7044

There's a medical term for those who willingly defy Chuck Norris... organ donors.

Chuck Norris's tears can cure every type of cancer, the only problem is he never cried.

When Chuck Norris was a baby, he sucked on a pacifier and made it cry.

Q: How did the medical community come up with the term "PMS"? A: "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

This lady is on an airplane and is seated next to a man named Ian McKegney. About half an hour after they take off, Ian sneezed. He calmly opened his fly, took out his penis and wiped it with a handkerchief. The lady was shocked but a little too shy to say anything. About 15 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and then once more opened his fly, grabbed his penis and wiped it off. The lady could not beleive it, and being to shy to mention it, she thought to herself, "If he does that again, I'm definitely going to mention it." Well, guess what? About 10 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and proceeded as before. She turned to Ian and said, "That is disgusting! Must you do that in front of me?" Ian apologized and explained that it was a medical condition, "Every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm," he explained. "Really, what do you take for that?" she asked. Ian replied, "Pepper."

Q: Did you hear about the new Viagra eye-drops? A: Apparently they make you look hard.

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

The nose drops „Big smeller" – let´s have a blow-out.

A scientist tells a pharmacist, "Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid." "Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist. The scientist slaps his forehead. "That's it!" he says. "I can never remember the name."

Chuck Norris once scored a field goal, using a hockey stick!

Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.