Joke #7044

There's a medical term for those who willingly defy Chuck Norris... organ donors.

Chuck Norris's tears can cure every type of cancer, the only problem is he never cried.

Q: How did the medical community come up with the term "PMS"? A: "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.

Q: Why is it that so many lawyers have broken noses? A: From chasing parked ambulances.

Chuck Norris can eat just one pringle.

An elderly husband and wife visit their doctor when they begin forgetting little things. Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes. When they get home, the wife says, "Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? And maybe write that down so you won't forget?" "Nonsense," says the husband, "I can remember a dish of ice cream." "Well," says the wife, "I'd also like some strawberries and whipped cream on it." "My memory's not all that bad," says the husband. "No problem - a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. I don't need to write it down." He goes into the kitchen; his wife hears pots and pans banging around. The husband finally emerges from the kitchen and presents his wife with a plate of bacon and eggs. She looks at the plate and asks, "Hey, where's the toast I asked for?"

Doctor, doctor, should I surf the Internet on an empty stomach? No, you should do it on a computer.

Chuck Norris is not 70 years old. At age 60, he began getting younger. This is why he is actually only 50.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Thundergun shot is a Chuck Norris sneeze.