Joke #7044

There's a medical term for those who willingly defy Chuck Norris... organ donors.

Chuck Norris's tears can cure every type of cancer, the only problem is he never cried.

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?" "I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

Q: How did the first man die from using Viagra? A: The tablet got stuck in his throat and he died from a stiff neck.

A stranger walks up to an Egyptian man at the Cairo bazaar and offers to sell him contraband Viagra for 100 Egyptian pounds. The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." The stranger says, "How about 20?" The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." The stranger says, "How about 10?" The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." The stranger says, "Listen, these pills cost $10 each in the U.S. How can you say they're not worth it?" The Egyptian man says, "Oh, the pills are worth it my wife isn't."

Q: Why is it that so many lawyers have broken noses? A: From chasing parked ambulances.

Chuck Norris sky dives without a parachute.

Chuck Norris puts ice cube trays in the cupboard, and he gets ice.

Chuck Norris can hear the sound of one hand clapping.

For Chuck Norris... In the game Monopoly every space is free parking.

A scientist tells a pharmacist, "Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid." "Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist. The scientist slaps his forehead. "That's it!" he says. "I can never remember the name."