There's a medical term for those who willingly defy Chuck Norris... organ donors.
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Chuck Norris's tears can cure every type of cancer, the only problem is he never cried.
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A blonde was having sharp pains in her side.
The doctor examined her and said, "You have acute appendicitis."
The blond yelled at the doctor...
"A cute appendicitis!
I came here to get medical help, not get a stupid compliment!"
Leonardo DiCaprio only starred in Inception because if he didn't, Chuck Norris will enter his dream and roundhouse kick him into limbo.
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Lately, I was by the urologist.
He examined me but he did not tell me the truth into my eyes.
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Q: Who invented viagra?
A: Mr Hardick of course!
New generic drug replacement for Viagra – it's called Mycoxaflopin.
Chuck Norris can speak Japanese... in French.
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A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting.
Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance.
The golf pro saw her heading back and said, “You are back early, what’s wrong?”
“I was stung by a bee!” she said.
“Where?” he asked.
“Between the first and second hole.” she replied.
He nodded and said, “Your stance is far too wide.”
After giving birth, I quit my job.
The exit questionnaire asked, "What steps would have prevented you from leaving?"
My answer: "Birth control."
Chuck Norris CAN play on broken strings.
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