There's a medical term for those who willingly defy Chuck Norris... organ donors.
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Chuck Norris's tears can cure every type of cancer, the only problem is he never cried.
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When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
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Q: How did the first man die from using Viagra?
A: The tablet got stuck in his throat and he died from a stiff neck.
Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel.
Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
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Q: Why is it that so many lawyers have broken noses?
A: From chasing parked ambulances.
Chuck Norris' beard can etch a sketch a picture of chuck killing a man.
When the last line is drawn, that man dies!
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Doctor, doctor, should I surf the Internet on an empty stomach?
No, you should do it on a computer.
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A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.
Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.
After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer,
"What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"
"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.
The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.
When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.
Q: Why is Michael Jackson addicted to pain killers?
A: To stop him from going OW OW OW!
Chuck Norris doesn't die...he just sleep in the ground for a little bit.
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