Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
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Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
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Chuck Norris wrote the Assassins creed!
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Chuck Norris beat a brick wall at tennis.
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When Chuck Norris donates blood, he gives twenty gallons.
None of it is his own.
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For fear of Chuck Norris, his shoes tie themselves.
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Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run out of bullets, bullets run out of Norrises.
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People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris...
Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.
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The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.
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Chuck Norris was born feet first.
It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
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