Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
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If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.
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Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
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When Chuck Norris gets bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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Chuck Norris talks in my sleep.
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Usually when kids go to sleep they sleep with a teddy bear...
Chuck Norris sleeps with an actual bear
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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The creation of a perfect sphere became possible after Chuck Norris became enraged with a rubix cube and roundhouse kicked the corners off it.
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
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Just the thought of using Chuck Norris in a war is considered a terrible crime against humanity.
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