Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine.
But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Chuck Norris won a game of chess with checker pieces.
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When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears.
Candyman ain't stupid.
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Q: What's the easiest way to a persons heart?
A: Chuck Norris' fist
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When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does.
NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't smile, his mouth smiles for him.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have to do anything for a Klondike bar.
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Chuck Norris can hear the sound of one hand clapping.
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Chuck Norris's Birthday is October 32th.
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Chuck Norris has 10 custom classes on Modern Warfare 2, and hes never prestiged.
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