Joke #7052

Two goldfish are in a tank. One said to the other: "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group? Look for gray hares.

Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning? A: An alarm cluck!

Why do milking stools only have three legs? 'Cause the cow's got the udder!

I just watched a squirrel bury a nut in my front yard. I'm going to dig it up and replace it with a Cadbury egg. That'll blow his little mind.

What has antlers, pulls Father Christmas sleigh and is made of cement? I don't know. A reindeer. What about the cement? I just threw that in to make it hard.

A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?" The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue." The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo." "Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away. The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car. "Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo." "Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time. Today I am taking them to the beach."

What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt? Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.

What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny? Rabbit up nicely, it's a gift.

The Teacher asked Little Johnny, "How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?" Little Johnny replied, "Just Don't bite any."

A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?" "Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?" "OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic.But let me ask you a question first." "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" "Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea." "Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"