Two goldfish are in a tank.
One said to the other: "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
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A blonde is driving down the road and she sees a dead rabbit.
She stops the car and called out, "Does anybody got any hairspray!?"
A man pulls up and gives her a bottle of spray and she sprays it on the dead rabbit and the man stares and says "Why u doing that?"
The blonde says "Hairspray is for dead hairs"
Q:Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A:To stamp out fires.
Q:Why do elephants have flat feet?
A:To stamp out burning ducks
An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
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Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?
A: A bird that will talk your ear off!
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Why did the cow jump over the moon?
To get to the Milky Way!
In year 1272 Arabics invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.
In year 1873 the British somewhat reinvented the condom by taking it out of the goat first.
How can you tell a rabbit from a skunk?
A skunk uses a cheaper deodorant.
Q. What's black and white and green?
A. A frog sitting on a newspaper.
What do you call the reindeer with one eye higher than the other?
Isaiah.