Two goldfish are in a tank. One said to the other: "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Spot!
What is a moo hoo for a cow that fell into the thresher? Ground round.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing. I told you he was a bum steer.
The little snail begs for his mother: Mother, please let me pass the rail road! Thunder dear, not now. In five hours the train passes.
I can teach my cat any trick he wants to do!
Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots? A: Bunny farts!
My tomcat used to stay out all night, so I took him to the vet and had him neutered. Now he still stays out all night – it turns out he likes to watch!
On the show Man v.s Wild, when they talk about the profesionals that Bear recieves help from, they are refering to Chuck Norris.
The judge: Why did you shoot the rabbit without being a member of the hunters association? The inculpated: Why did the rabbit eat cabbage from my garden, without being a family member?