Chuck Norris fires Donald Trump.
Chuck Norris can speak Japanese... in French.
Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris can wipe rainwater from inside his car.
Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever. That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.
Chuck Norris won a game of chess with checker pieces.