Chuck Norris fires Donald Trump.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.
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Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
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Chuck Norris' first words were... "Chuck Norris".
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Chuck Norris gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.
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Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.
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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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Chuck Norris does not own a house.
He walks into random houses and people move.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
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Physics is bound by the laws of Chuck Norris.
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