When Chuck Norris got his first sling-shot, he created what we now know today as the "Moon", "Mars", "Jupitar", "Saturn" and "Pluto"
Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man". Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man". Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
Chuck Norris destroyed all life in a place called Happy Valley. We know it today as Death Valley.
A total eclipse won't look directly at Chuck Norris.
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
Chuck Norris broke the world record for most punches in a minute with one roundhouse kick.
Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row. The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
Night time... when Chuck Norris tells the sun it's time for bed.
Chuck Norris isn't just a name, it's a cause of death.