Chuck Norris once had to go to court...the judge got life in prison.
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The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
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Chuck Norris took a rocket science class but quit becaus it was too easy.
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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
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Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
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Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine.
He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself.
Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
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Host migration is Chuck Norris pausing multiplayer.
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Remember the Leia scene from The Last Jedi?
That wasn't the force, it was Chuck Norris resurrecting Carrie Fischer.
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Even Google can't find Chuck Norris.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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Most leading hand sanitizers say that they can kil 99.99% of all germs.
Chuck Norris can kill 100% of WHATEVER HE WANTS.
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