Chuck Norris once had to go to court...the judge got life in prison.
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There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
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It is a fact that Chuck Norris cannot cry, this is because his tearducts are too muscular.
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Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
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Why did we have a global recession?
Because Chuck Norris asked "Whats a global Recession?"
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If Chuck Norris were president, he would protect the secret service.
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Chuck Norris and Hitler were sitting in a cafe.
Chuck said, "I don't like the juice."
Hitler heard him wrong.
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Titanic crashed into Chuck Norris' cut out toe nail.
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Chuck Norris doesn't pay the government, the government pays him.
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Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
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