Chuck Norris has a daugter: Jason Bourne.
Some people have alter egos. Chuck Norris has no such thing.
Chuck Norris can toast bread in a freezer.
Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
Dreams about Chuck Norris are in 4D.
After meeting with Chuck Norris' lawyer the UFC have changed their name from "Ultimate Fighting Championship" to simply "Fighting Championship."
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can stab a knife with a man.
Do you know why God is called "God"? Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception.