In a fight between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris would win.
No questions.
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Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
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Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a case for his phone.
The ground is afraid to break it.
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Chuck Norris just checked out from 501... In 8 darts.
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When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does.
NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
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For Chuck Norris, there is no such thing as gambling.
He already knows the outcome.
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Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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It takes courage to say YES at the altar.
It takes even more courage to say NO to Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
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Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee.
Except Chuck Norris.
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