In a fight between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris would win.
No questions.
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Chuck Norris has only one friend on Facebook: Pain.
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Chuck Norris can finish a Super Mario game with just one arrow key.
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If you see the Blue Screen of Death on your laptop... it's because Chuck Norris found out you were reading Chuck Norris jokes.
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When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.
"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.
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Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter.
He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
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Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.
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Chuck Norris can spell roundhouse kick with five letters: death.
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Chuck Norris has no need for a TV remote.
He stares at his television, until it changes the channel.
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