Joke #8316

Three flies in a trashcan get trapped overnight in a bathroom. The first fly goes to the sink, the second fly stays in the tub, and the third fly chooses the toilet. The next morning, all the exhausted flies gather back in the garbage can. The first fly says, "I'm exhausted! I almost got washed down the drain." The second fly says, "I almost got squashed by feet in the shower!" The third fly says, "The toilet was fine until it suddenly got dark. First, I heard thunder, then it started to rain, and if it weren't for that big brown log, I surely would have drowned."

Two sperms. The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?" The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."

Q: Why do men fart louder than women? A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.

My mother in law's farts are so horrible that I can rent her to governments for using instead of chemical weapons for destroying their enemies!

Did you hear about the man who took Viagra and a laxative at the same time? He didn't know if he was coming or going.

Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license?  "Oh, it's not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That's disgusting!"

What's grosser than gross? Two Siamese twins connected at the tongue. What's even grosser than that? When one of them throws up.

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative." The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!" The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

What did the tampon say to the other tampon in school? I'll see you next period.

An Aggie and a Longhorn had just bought a ranch together, so they were driving the fence line to check everything out when they came upon a goat with his head stuck in a fence. So the Longhorn gets out of the truck, looks around, and then starts screwing the goat. He gets finished, takes a step back, ands asks the Aggie, "Hey, you want a piece of this?" The Aggie says, ´"Yeah, but do I have to stick my head in the fence?"

Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? A: The big hand touches the little one.