Chuck Norris is so fast that when he runs, he can see his back.
Chuck Norris sees dead people...and they run.
The list of names at the end of every Chuck Norris film is the list of people he's killed.
Chuck Norris sky dives without a parachute.
Chuck Norris doesn't tell lies. He changes facts.
Don't type "Chuck Norris" on Monster Milktruck, your milk will turn into beer.
Rome wasn't built in a day because they didn't ask Chuck Norris for help.
Chuck Norris once played with Legos. The Ancient Egyptians still thank him for it.
Chuck Norris doesn't pay the government, the government pays him.
Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.