Chuck Norris is so fast that when he runs, he can see his back.
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Chuck Norris doesen't fly, gravity collapses around him.
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Chuck Norris can cash two party, out of state checks with no ID, or else!
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Chuck Norris does not need pressure cookers.
The food cooks itself out of pressure.
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Usually when kids go to sleep they sleep with a teddy bear...
Chuck Norris sleeps with an actual bear
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What you call a wrecking ball, Chuck Norris calls a punching bag.
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Chuck Norris CAN handle the truth.
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PlayStation network was never hacked.
Chuck Norris just decided to play one day.
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When Chuck Norris puts toast in the toaster it comes out bread.
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Chuck norris sneezes bullets at people.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have to do anything for a Klondike bar.
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