Chuck Norris is so fast that when he runs, he can see his back.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris can make you laugh at your own funeral.
Chuck Norris is not impressed with your facts...
There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was kidnapped by aliens he did experiments on them.
Chuck Norris was born Sept. 1 1945. World War 2 ended Sept. 2 1945. What a coincidence.
When somebody else yawns, Chuck Norris does not.
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris went to every planet in the galaxy. That is why there is no life on any of them.
Chuck Norris likes steel wool... it's his loofah.