Chuck Norris never wears steel toe boots, they make his roundhouse kicks softer.
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Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion?
Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
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Chuck Norris can watch DVD's on a VCR.
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Chuck Norris can play volleyball with a bowlingball.
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When you die on Earth you go to hell.
When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
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Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.
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When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
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What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died?
His shoe.
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