Chuck Norris never wears steel toe boots, they make his roundhouse kicks softer.
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Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
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Chuck Norris is the only one that can turn lemonade into lemons.
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Earth is not spinning around the sun.
The sun is just desperately trying to keep a distance to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.
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Tornadoes have sirens to warn them when Chuck Norris is coming.
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Chuck Norris roundhoused some wannabe cop named Agent Sasevel so hard that it rearranged the letters of his name to Steven Seagal.
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Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an attitude.
He has a personality you can't handle.
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Chuck Norris solved Unsolved Mysteries.
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When Chuck Norris visits Europe on vacation, France surrenders.
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