Chuck Norris never wears steel toe boots, they make his roundhouse kicks softer.
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We're hoping Chuck Norris doesn't go bald on top.
It's a bad look with his mullet.
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Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.
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Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
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Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees.
He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.
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Chuck Norris goes to Silent Hill for the weekends.
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Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
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Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes.
Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
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Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with Chuck Norris?
A: Nothing. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
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You know the movie, Alien VS Predator?
Well it used to be called Alien VS Predator VS Chuck Norris, but no body would pay to see a fight 7 seconds long.
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Chuck Norris can listen to 24 hours worth of music and not move a single muscle.
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