Chuck Norris "Caught 'Em All " twice.
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Using only a black king, Chuck Norris defeated the world-champion grand-master in chess.
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Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.
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Chuck Norris never has a deja vu.
No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
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If Chuck Norris were a toy, everything about it would be hazardous.
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Chuck Norris can't be in a 3D movie because the entire room would feel his roundhouse kicks.
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Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee.
He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
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Chuck Norris jumped off a building once.
The ground didn't make it.
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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off.
It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.
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