Chuck Norris "Caught 'Em All " twice.
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
When Chuck Norris falls into a puddle of water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris. This is just a joke, we know Chuck Norris doesn't fall..ever
All men are created equal. Equally inferior to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris can close Pandora's Box.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...
Wolverine has been called indestructible because of his adamantium skeleton... until Chuck Norris broke every bone in his body.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.