Q: Did you hear about the leper poker game?
A: One guy threw in his hand and the other three laughed their heads off.
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When Chuck Norris plays sudoku, he can put two same numbers in one square and still solve it right.
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Chuck Norris throws a dodgeball at you, knocks all your teeth out.
Then the ball hits you.
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Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
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Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
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Q: Why do men fart louder than women?
A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.
Bob walks into a public bathroom and notices a guy with no arms standing next to a urinal.
As Bob takes care of his business, he wonders how the poor soul is going to take a leak.
Bob finishes and heads for the door, but figures he should ask the man if he needs help.
"Oh yes please!?" the man cries.
"You have a kind heart, sir," says the man with no arms.
But as Bob goes ahead, unzips the man, and pulls his willy out, he encounters all kinds of mold, red bumps, moles, scabs, scars, and other unpleasant-looking things.
The armless man asks Bob to kindly point it... then shake it, put it back and zip it.
So Bob, gathers his courage, shuts his eyes and does so.
"Thank you very much, sir!" says the armless man.
"No problem," says Bob "but what the hell is wrong with your penis?"
The guy pulls pulls his arms out of his shirt and says "I don't know, but I ain't touching it!"
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Q: Do you know the most favourite play of gays?
A: Romeo and Julius.
How do you make stew out of a leper?
Put him in a Jacuzzi and turn it on full.
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You might be a redneck if you think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
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I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
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