Joke #7348

Q: Did you hear about the leper poker game? A: One guy threw in his hand and the other three laughed their heads off.

Chuck Norris once hit 3 touchdowns during a friendly game of full-contact bowling.

What do you call an abortion in Czechslovakia? A cancelled Czech!

Question: If you went to a party and woke up with a condom in your ass would you tell anyone? Answer: No! Response: Wanna go to a party?

Whenever Chuck Norris rolls a 6 sided dice, he always rolls a 7.

What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan? Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.

A guy in a supermarket goes up to the cashier and places two cans of dog food on the counter. The cashier asks, "Do you have a dog sir?" "Yes, it's at home," replies the man. "To be able to sell you the dog food sir, I must see the dog. That is store policy," says the cashier. Next day the man goes places two cans of cat food on the counter. "Do you own a cat sir?" asks the cashier. "Yes I do, it's at home," says the man. "Well I am sorry sir. Store policy. I must see the cat before I can sell you cat food," says the cashier. The next day the man returns to the store and walks directly to the same cashier. He has a brown paper bag in his hand. "Here," he says to the cashier, "put your hand in here." The cashier puts her hand in the brown paper bag. "It is all soft and warm," she says. "Yes, that's right," says the man, "I need to buy two rolls of toilet paper."

One day, a farmer was tending to his livestock when he noticed that one of his cows was completely cross-eyed. He called up a veterinarian friend of his who told him to bring in his cow. The vet took one look at the cow, stuck a tube up the cow's butt, and blew into the tube until the cow's eyes straightened out. The vet charged the farmer a hundred bucks, and the farmer went home happy. About a week later, the cow's eyes were cross-eyed again, but this time the farmer figured he could probably take care of it himself. So he called his hired hand over, and together they put a tube up the cow's butt. The farmer put his lips to the tube and started to blow. Strangely, nothing happened, so he asked his hired hand to give it a try. The hired hand removed the tube, turned it around, put it in the cow's butt and started to blow. "What are you doing?" asked the farmer, horrified. "Well, I wasn't gonna use the side that YOU had put your lips on."

Q: Why are men like diapers? A: They are always on your ass and full of sh*t, and thankfully, they're disposable.

Q: How do you be pro in clash royale? A: Use rocket and rage spell ladies.

Q: What is astronauts favorite game in space? A: Moonopoly.