Q: What can popsicles do that men can't?
A: Come in five flavors.
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Similar jokes
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I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
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Q: What's the hardest thing about a sex change from a man to a woman?
A: Inserting the anchovies
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There were two church-going women gossiping in front of the store when a dusty old cowboy rode up.
He tied up in front of the saloon, walked around behind his horse, lifted its tail and kissed the horse full on its rectum.
Repulsed, one of the women asked, "That's disgusting, why did you do THAT?"
To which the cowboy replied, "I've got chapped lips."
Confused, the women continued, "Does that make them feel better?"
"No, but it stops me from licking them!"
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long?
A runny bunny.
What do you call an abortion in Czechslovakia?
A cancelled Czech!
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Little Johnny comes home one day and says, "Mom! Little Mark next door has a penis like a peanut!"
"What do you mean, Johnny? Is it shaped like a peanut?"
"No," says Johnny. "It's salty."
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Q: What do Michael Jackson and Santa have in common?
A: After a night of visiting children, they both have empty sacks.
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Q: What's the difference between a brown-noser and a sh*thead?
A: Depth perception.
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Q: Why did the cowboy have sh*t in his mustache?
A: Cuz he'd been lookin for love in all the wrong places.
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A cowboy rides in the desert and comes upon a Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?"
The naked man replies, "I'm finding out the time -- it is 12:15."
The cowboy looks at his watch and thinks, "Wow, it really is 12:15."
The cowboy continues and sees another Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?"
The naked man replies, "I'm seeing what time it is -- it is 3:15."
The cowboy looks at his watch and that is the correct time.
The cowboy continues and finds a third Native American lying naked on the ground, masturbating.
The cowboy asks what he's doing and he replies, "I'm winding my watch."
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