Q: What can popsicles do that men can't?
A: Come in five flavors.
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Yo mama is so stinky that she scared the fly's off the shit wagonrn.
Vote:
An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
Vote:
Q: How is a pussy like a grapefruit?
A: The best ones squirt when you eat them.
Vote:
A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately to an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the sailors do to satisfy their urges when they're at sea for so long.
"Let me show you," says the captain.
He takes the recruit down to the rear of the ship where there's a solitary barrel with a hole in it.
"This'll be the best sex you'll ever have. Go ahead and try it, and I'll give you some privacy."
The recruit doesn't quite believe it, but he decides to try it anyway. After he finishes up, the captain returns.
"Wow! That was the best sex I've ever had! I want to do it every day!"
"Fine. You can do it every day except for Thursday."
"Why not Thursday?"
"That's your day in the barrel."
Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop?
A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Vote:
One night as a bartender is closing up his bar, he hears a knock at the back door.
When he opens the door, there stands a bum who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?"
The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up his bar.
Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the door.
Again, there stands another bum who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?"
The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up the bar.
Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the back door.
This time, there's a bum asking for a straw.
The owner gives him a straw, but finally asks what's going on out there.
The bum replies, "Some lady threw up in the back, but all the good stuff is gone."
Vote:
Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blowjob?
A: The blowjob.
You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just can't beat a blowjob.
Vote:
Q: Why are men like diapers?
A: They are always on your ass and full of sh*t, and thankfully, they're disposable.
Vote:
What do you call an incestuous nephew?
An aunt-eater.
Vote:
Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads?
So you can pick them up five at a time
Vote: