Joke #7571

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Santa have in common? A: After a night of visiting children, they both have empty sacks.

What do a bungee jump and a Hooker have in common? They're both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're dead.

What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina? Putting in twelve and sucking out thirteen.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob. On the wall? Art. On the floor? Matt.

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative." The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!" The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

Yo mamma’s so hairy, last night I confused here with a bush and pissed on her!

Why can't girls play hockey? Because their pads can't last three periods.

A guy sees a classified ad that says "Will give Blow Job while singing the Star Spangled Banner at the same time." The guys thinks to himself that it sounds interesting and unbelievable, and so decides to pay her a visit. She lets him in and says that the lights have to be off. So she turns the light off and starts sucking his dick. All of a sudden he hears the Star Spangled Banner, clear as day. He really wants to know how she is doing this so he flips on the lights. All he sees on the floor is a glass eye.

Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay? A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.

What did Obi Wan say when Luke was constipated? "Use the F-O-R-C-E Luke!"

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends how hard you throw them.