Two blond girls are discussing: "Yesterday during the blackout I got stuck in the elevator for three whole hours!" "Tell me about it! I got stuck too in the escalators."
Q. Why was the blonde in the tree? A. Because she was raking up the leaves!
What would you do if a Blonde threw a hand grenade right at you? "Just pull the pin and throw it back."
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" "Why" asks the Blond "Because your breast is hanging out." She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."
Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine? A: "Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami!"
A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, “I'll take that bet!” Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owed. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend. I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money." The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because the can said "concentrate" on it.
What did the blonde’s right leg say to her left leg? Nothing, they’ve never met!
She is so blonde, she thinks that Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
Q: What is long and hard to a blonde? A: Fourth grade.