How is a blond with makeup called?
Simpleminded picture.
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A police officer saw a car speeding down the highway.
He started chasing after the speeder .
When he got close he's saw it was a blonde woman who was actually knitting while driving.
The cop yelled, "Pull over!"
The blonde shouted back, "No! It's a sweater!"
A blonde and a redhead are taken hostage by terrorists.
The women are taken to a remote island and put before a firing squad.
Just before the squad fires, the redhead points and yells, "Tornado!"
The terrorists run in all different directions, and the redhead escapes.
When they realize what has happened, the terrorists come back to where the blonde is still standing.
They raise their rifles, and thinking quickly, the blonde points and yells, "Fire!
Q: What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
A: "Look! They spelled MACY's wrong!"
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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
"Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."
So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does.
The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss!
She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.
"That was fun," says the brunette.
"We should do it again sometime."
"No way," says the blonde.
"I almost got caught."
A blonde goes into a kitchen store and says to an assistant "Can i buy that TV please?"
The assistant says "Sorry we don't serve blondes."
So the blonde goes out and gets her hair dyed and then comes back and says, "Excuse me can i buy that TV please?" and the assistant says "No, because we still know who you are."
So the blonde goes out and gets plastic surgery.
She then comes back and says
"Excuse me, can I buy that TV please?" and the assistant says, "No, because it's a microwave!"
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A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted, without prior experience or lessons.
She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.
Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip.
She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.
The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup.
She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again.
As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager, runs out to unplug the horse.
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Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering?
The noise gave her a headache.
A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock.
The blonde replied, "What for? Are you going to set it on fire!"
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Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity?
A: The crayons are still sticky.
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