Chuck Norris took a nap. The result was the Great Depression.
Chuck Norris once ran on the treadmil. It couldn't keep up.
Chuck Norris leaves messages before the beep.
Chuck Norris' pulse-rate is measured on the Richter Scale.
Chuck Norris can travel a negative distance.
Chuck Norris can eat just one pringle.
Chuck Norris can create tornados by running around in circles.
Shooting stars make a wish when they see Chuck Norris.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
Before his rise to fame, Jaws was Chuck Norris's goldfish.