The Reapers in the Mass Effect series were actually Chuck Norris' baby toys.
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Guns sleep with a picture of Chuck Norris under their pillows.
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Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
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There are no weapons of mass destruction.
Just Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
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The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
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Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead.
Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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Chuck Norris doesn't check under his bed for monsters, monsters check on top of the bed to see if Chuck Norris is sleeping.
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Chuck Norris doesn't smile, his mouth smiles for him.
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Chuck Norris got elected for president, even though he didn't run for anything.
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Chuck Norris is so cool, ice cubes are jealous...
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