Joke #6763

Chuck Norris can clog the toilet with his pee.
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According to CNN, Chuck Norris was commanding the SEAL team in Afghanistan. When Osama found that out, he shot himself in the head.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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The only apocolypse that can happen is if bogyman insults Chuck Norris. The whole universe goes to hell.
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Chuck Norris inflated a flat school bus tire, with his lungs.
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Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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Chuck Norris is danger's middle name.
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Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
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Chuck Norris once threw a pebble. We now call it...Hayley's Comet.
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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
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