Joke #8328

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? A: Gulp.
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, elephant

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Q: What do you give an elephant with diarrhea? A: Lots of room.
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, elephant
Barnum & Bailey was transferring the circus from one town to another. The elephants were connected trunk to tail. They came along a railroad crossing and as the elephants were halfway across the tracks, a train came along and killed two of them. Shortly thereafter, B&M Railroad received an invoice from Barnum and Bailey for $10,000. B&M immediately called Barnum & Bailey and requested an explanation for the charge, writing, "What is the cost of a new elephant?" Barnum & Bailey responded, "$1,000 each." B&M responded, "But, we only killed two of them!" Barnum & Bailey said, "Yes, but you pulled the assholes out of eight others."
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, elephant, money
Q: What does an elephant use as tampon? A: A sheep.
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, elephant
"Where are you going to take Vampira on your date?" asked one vampire. "Oh, I thought we'd go to the movies, and then get a quick bite."
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: dating, disgusting
A mouse and an elephant are walking through the forest. The elephant falls in a hole so the mouse gets his Porsche throws a rope down into the hole and pulls the elephant out. So they continue walking and the mouse falls into a hole. The elephant throws his dick into the hole and the mouse climbs out. Moral of the story: if you have a big enough dick you don't need a Porsche.
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has 68.05 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, dirty, elephant
A couple walked into the supermarket. They looked confused, so a clerk walked up to them and asked them what they wanted. The couple asked for a couple of lottery tickets. He gave the tickets to them, and they paid for them. The husband looked confused again. He asked the clerk, “What the hell do I do with these damn things?” The clerk replied, “Well, you're supposed to scratch the box and see if you've won anything.” The wife looked disgusted. "Oh please," she muttered. "What?" asked the clerk. "Oh nothing," she answered, "it's just that, well, he's been scratching down there for years, and he ain't won a damn thing."
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, husband
A Guy goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says, "I bet $50 that no one here has a musical instrument that this octopus can't play." The people in the bar look around and someone fetches out an old guitar. The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes up the strings and starts playing the guitar. The octopus' owner pockets the fifty bucks. The next guy comes up with a trumpet, octopus takes the horn, loosens up the keys, licks it's lips and starts playing a jazz solo. The guy hands over another fifty bucks to the octopus' owner. The bar owner has been watching all this and disappears out back, coming back a few moments later with a set of bagpipes under his arm. He puts them on the bar and says to the guy, "Now if your octopus can play that I'll give you a hundred dollars." The octopus takes a look at the bagpipes, lifts it up, turns it over, and has another look from a different angle. Puzzled, the octopus' owner comes up and says, "What are you pissing around for? Hurry up and play the damn thing!" The octopus says, "Play it? If I can figure out how to get it's pajama's off, I'm gonna screw it!"
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has 67.20 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, disgusting, money, music
Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup! Waiter: Don't worry, Sir, it's not that hot!
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: How did the elephant destroy the database? A: His truncate it.
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has 65.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: coding, elephant, geek, IT
How do elephants hide in the jungle? Paint their balls red and pretend they are cherries! What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys eating cherries...
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has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant