Joke #8328

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? A: Gulp.

Q: What do you give an elephant with diarrhea? A: Lots of room.

Barnum & Bailey was transferring the circus from one town to another. The elephants were connected trunk to tail. They came along a railroad crossing and as the elephants were halfway across the tracks, a train came along and killed two of them. Shortly thereafter, B&M Railroad received an invoice from Barnum and Bailey for $10,000. B&M immediately called Barnum & Bailey and requested an explanation for the charge, writing, "What is the cost of a new elephant?" Barnum & Bailey responded, "$1,000 each." B&M responded, "But, we only killed two of them!" Barnum & Bailey said, "Yes, but you pulled the assholes out of eight others."

Q: What does an elephant use as tampon? A: A sheep.

Q: Who is brave? A: He who has diarrhea and wants to fart!

What's gray and powdery? Instant Elephant.

A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately to an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the sailors do to satisfy their urges when they're at sea for so long. "Let me show you," says the captain. He takes the recruit down to the rear of the ship where there's a solitary barrel with a hole in it. "This'll be the best sex you'll ever have. Go ahead and try it, and I'll give you some privacy." The recruit doesn't quite believe it, but he decides to try it anyway. After he finishes up, the captain returns. "Wow! That was the best sex I've ever had! I want to do it every day!" "Fine. You can do it every day except for Thursday." "Why not Thursday?" "That's your day in the barrel."

A man goes to the doctor about the size if his penis. He says to the doctor "My penis is too small." Doctor gives the man some medicine, says "Drink this everytime you bump into something your penis will grow an inch." So the man thanks the doctor and leaves. He drinks the medicine on his way home he bumps into a lampot so his penis grew an inch. Just a little further down the road he bumps into an Indian guy. A thousand apologies, he penis grows one thousand inches, baffled by his extra long penis he decides to paint it red, hite and blue, and wrapped it round his neck, he decides to go to the cinema, he was watching a dirty movie, sat on the top of the row of seats, all of a sudden this voice comes on the speaker. "Can the man with the red white and blue scarf stop chucking ice cream to the people below?"

Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends? A: He plays with Pooh.

Q: What's the difference between apple pie and pussy? A: You can eat Granmas apple pie.

I took my 7 year old son to the zoo today. We were walking around and soon he said, “Look Dad! It's a frickin' Elephant!” I was shocked and slightly angry, as everybody was looking at us. “What did you just call it?” I asked. “It's a frickin' Elephant, it says so on the picture!” he said, and so it did, A F R I C A N Elephant.