How does a man save a woman from being attacked on the street at night?
He controls himself.
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Q: There is a $100 bill sitting in the middle of a 4 way intersection, at one side there is a man hating dike, at another side, there is Santa, at another side there is the Easter Bunny, and at the las side there is a man loving lesbian. Who gets the $100 bill?
A: The man hating dike because all others are a figure of your imagination.
What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.
Two guys die in a car accident and an angel descends from heaven.
"I am to give you your wings so you can fly to heaven.
But if you think one dirty thought or act out one dirty act your wings will fall off."
So they fly to heaven without any trouble but when they get there the first guy sees a naked woman walk by so his wings falll off.
When he bends over to pick them up the second guy's wings fall off.
Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger.
What do men dream of?
Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
"What is the thickest book in the world?
What Men Think They Know About Women."
How to Impress a Woman:
compliment her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
listen to her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her.
How to Impress a Man:
show up naked,
bring beer.
What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack.
"What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?"
"A Budweiser in each hand!"
What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders?
A scrotum pole!
