Joke #7896

How does a man save a woman from being attacked on the street at night? He controls himself.
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of? Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
Vote: has 35.23 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his real name.
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, relationship
Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week? Because the text on the nappies package said "18-40 lbs".
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, husband, men
How do men define a "50/50" relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
Vote: has 24.11 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, relationship
John it’s alright muttering a few words in the church and finding yourself married, but if you mutter a few words in your sleep you might find yourself divorced.
Vote: has 21.85 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
10 things men don't say 1)Let's watch Lifetime. 2)Sex is overrated. 3)I don't want to go too far on the first date. 4)Yes, your sister does have bigger breasts than you. 5)Don't we owe your mother a visit? 6)I'm relieved I don't have a large penis weighing me down. 7)Dessert goes right to my hips. 8)I hate when I miss Oprah. 9)Does this suit make me look fat? 10)I'll never get tired of listening to Dido.
Vote: has 32.63 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, mother in law, music, sex
Q: Why are men so happy? A: Because ignorance is bliss.
Vote: has 24.26 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A guy was going to Texas and when he went on the train he said, "Ohh my god Texas chairs are really big." He went to a bar he asked for a bear and when the bar tender gave him the mug of bear the guy said, "Wooww Texas mugs are really big." Later he asked the bar tender were is the bathroom and the bar tender said, "Strait on your right." But the guy went on his left and when he entered the room he slipped and feel in the swimming pool and said, "Don't flush don't flush!"
Vote: has 65.02 % from 5 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A man ask his wife, "What would you do if I won the lottery?" Wife says, "I would take half and leave you". Man says, "Great! I have won a tenner, here a fiver now f*ck off!
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labour and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!" The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the woman to his wife’s room. About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith’s wife has just had triplets. Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company." The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air." The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."
Vote: has 76.89 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, hospital, men, nurse, wife