How does a man save a woman from being attacked on the street at night? He controls himself.
Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
The Perfect Man: - wakes up at 5 am everyday - exercises everyday - makes his own bed - cleans his room - works sincerely - does not touch alcohol - helps in the kitchen - does not indulge in night life - always punctual - prays daily - hits the bed at 9 pm sharp Such a perfect man can only be found in jail.
Question: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? Answer: When she starts her sentence with, “A man once told me…”
What did Barack Obama become after his forty-seventh year? "Forty-eight years old."
When you have a man staring at a naked Playboy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!
Men are like.....Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach. But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
How can you tell if a man is aroused? He's breathing.
3 guys walk into a bar The first guy says "I have got the smallest arm in? the world" The second guy "I have the smallest head in the world" The third guy "I have got the smallest d*ck in the world" The 3 guys go to the Guinness World Records. The first guy comes back and says "I really do have the smallest arm in the world" The second guy comes back and says "Amazing, I do have the smallest head in the world" The third guy comes back angry " Who the F*CK is JUSTIN BEIBER?