Joke #3194

What is gross stupidity? 144 men in one room.
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Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

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A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, "1 enemy ship on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die." So the watchman comes to him and asks, "Why did you want your red shirt?" The captain says, "Because if i get injured they won't see and keep on fighting." So the watchman comes to him again and says, "20 enemy ships on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my brown pants."
Vote: has 70.92 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

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God gave man his penis and his brain but blood only enough to work one another at a time.
Vote: has 71.76 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

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Why can't single women fart? They don't get an asshole till they get married.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

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When God created the donkey, he said:"You’ll work day and night, and you’ll carry in your back heavy baggage. You’ll eat grass and you’ll have low IQ. You’ll be living for 50 years." "But my God, 50 years is a lot of time for that kind of life! Give me only 30." And so it happened. Then, God created the dog:"As a dog, you’ll guard man’s property and you’ll be his staunch/loyal friend. You’ll eat their left overs and you’ll be living for 25 years." "Oh, Mighty God. This kind of life is unbearable. Give me only 10 years to live, please." And so it happened. Then, God created the monkey:" You’ll jump around, tree to tree, and you’ll act like a fool so people can be entertained by you. You life will last 20 years." "No, God, please! Don’t let me suffer for that long. Give only 10 years to live." And so it happened. Last, God created the Man:"You’re a Man. You’re the only sensible being on the planet earth. You’ll use your inteligence to dominance the other creatures. You’ll be in charge. You’ll life will last 20 years." "But my one and only God, 20 years is not too long to achieve my goal. I beg you to give me the donkey’s 20 years, dog’s 15 years and monkeys 10 years." And so it happen. Since then men lives for 20 years as a man. Then, he gets married and works as a donkey for 20 years by carrying heavy baggage night and day. He haves children and lives as a dog, guarding the house and his property, eating family left overs. And when he grows old, he lives like a monkey. He’s his grandchildren entertainer by acting fool!
Vote: has 67.15 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

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There were three guys in a bar. Two are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives. The third remains silent. After a while, one of the first two turned to the third and says, "Well... what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?" "Well, on our honeymoon, I made damn sure my wife came to me on her hands and knees," he bragged and took another sip of beer. His friends were amazed! "What happened then?" they asked, almost in unison." "Well, then she said, "Get the hell out from under that bed and fight like a man!" he admitted.
Vote: has 75.17 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
Vote: has 30.43 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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A guy walked into his friend’s office. He found his friend sitting at his desk, looking very depressed. "Hey, what’s up with you?," he asked. "Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She’s hired a new secretary for me." "Well, nothing wrong in that," he said, "Is she blonde or brunette?" "Neither. He’s bald."
Vote: has 82.86 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What would men do if they had breasts? A: They'd stay at home and play with them all day.
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

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