What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.
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Why do men like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.
How do you know if your man is dead?
The sex is the same, but there's less ironing.
Men are like... Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
The Perfect Man:
- wakes up at 5 am everyday
- exercises everyday
- makes his own bed
- cleans his room
- works sincerely
- does not touch alcohol
- helps in the kitchen
- does not indulge in night life
- always punctual
- prays daily
- hits the bed at 9 pm sharp
Such a perfect man can only be found in jail.
(A) You are not Tom Cruise,
(B) The guns may stop working at the last moment,
(C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you,
(D) Your family might not like the amount of compensation on your behalf
(E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!"
Why did God create man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
Q: Why did they make glow in the dark condoms?
A: So gay guys can play star wars.
"What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?"
"A Budweiser in each hand!"
A man goes to his doctor after losing a lot of weight.
"I feel great, but I have a problem, doctor.
I was so fat beforehand that my skin has stretched and stayed that long. Is there anything you can give me?"
"Hmm, short of plastic surgery, there is only one alternative.
Please take off your clothes."
The man strips down.
The doctor pulls all his skin upwards and ties it in a ball above his head.
"But doctor -- now my navel is in the middle of my forehead!"
"True," replies the doctor, "and you should see what you have for a collar and tie."