Teacher: "Can you tell the name of 3 great Kings who have brought happpines and peace into people lives?" Student: " Smo-king", Drin-king and Fuc-king"
Q: When is the only time you can smack an ugly woman in the face? A: When her mustache is on fire.
How do lesbians handle their liquor? By the ears. (Lick her)
Boy: you left this at my house last night Girl: that aint mine Boy : sorry number 32 I thought you were someone else
Monday – a very, very, good day! The leader’s daughter lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Tuesday – a very, very, good day! The leader's wife lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Wednesday – a very, very, very, very, very, very, bad day! ... I lost! … Now they're looking for me.
Just heard someone bragging about his one night stand. Whatever mate, I've got two night stands. Either side of my bed.
A son is discussing funeral arrangements with his dying mother. ‘Would you like to be buried or cremated?’ asks the son. The mother replies, ‘I don’t know. Surprise me.’
When I was younger I used to think having sex was kissing naked. One day after showering my dog came in the restroom, so I kissed him on the head, after realizing what I did I ran downstairs, and told my mom that I had sex with the dog, you can image her face after hearing this. Yep I was a very dumb child.
There's a faggot between Y and I on your keyboard... look!
Why did God give women belly buttons? For somewhere to stash your gum on the way down.
What is something nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.