Joke #5264

Teacher: "Can you tell the name of 3 great Kings who have brought happpines and peace into people lives?" Student: " Smo-king", Drin-king and Fuc-king"
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Whats the similarity between getting a bl*wjob from an 80 year old and walking the tightrope ? In both cases you really dont want to look down !
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What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common? You don't look down.
Vote: has 67.31 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What did one tampon say to the other? A: Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.
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Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane..." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's fucking goofy!"
Vote: has 83.21 % from 315 votes. Send joke:

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Dont you hate it when you open a bag of chips and its half full?! Yeah, that's how us guys feel about push-up bras!
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A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?" "Fertilizer," the farmer replied. "What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy. "Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer. "You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."
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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice.
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A son is discussing funeral arrangements with his dying mother. ‘Would you like to be buried or cremated?’ asks the son. The mother replies, ‘I don’t know. Surprise me.’
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Q: What did dick say to rubber? A: "Cover me I'm going in."
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

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A professor told dirty jokes in class and the women wanted to protest it. So they decided that in the next time that the professor will start with these kind of jokes they all will leave the class as a protest. Somehow the professor heard about the plan. In the next lecture, in the beginning of the lecture he said: "In Sweden a pr*stitute makes $2000 per night." All the women stood up and started to leave the class. So he shouted after them: "Where are you going? The plane to Sweden doesn't take off until the day after tomorrow."
Vote: has 73.75 % from 91 votes. Send joke:

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