Teacher: "Can you tell the name of 3 great Kings who have brought happpines and peace into people lives?"
Student: " Smo-king", Drin-king and Fuc-king"
Similar jokes
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Q: Do you know what 69 is?
A: It's a good thing screwed up by a period.
What did the flower say to be the bee?
"Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
Vote:
Got my wife a dildo and some shoes for her birthday.
If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself.
Teacher and her 3 boy students:
Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”
Boy 1: “I saw a strap of your bra.”
Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one week.”
Boy 2 laughed…
Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”
Boy 2: “I saw your bra straps.”
Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one month.”
Teacher bent down to pickup a chalk. Boy 3 started walking out of the class…
Teacher: “Why are you leaving?”
Boy 3: “I think my school days are over.”
Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!"
Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."
A willy is like a tree in your 20's its like a rock hard oak.
In your 30's & 40's its like a birch tree, flexible but reliable.
After your 50's its like a xmas tree, dead from the roots up & the balls are just there for decoration.
What is 6 inches long, hard, goes into your mouth back and fourth, and has white stuff at the end.
A toothbrush with toothpaste
How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole?
Stick a javelin through it's head.
Vote:
There was this old woman who heard a song called “Two Lips and Seven Kisses.”
She called up information after hearing the song on the radio to get the name of the record company.
In dialing, she erroneously called up a gas station, and she asks, “Do you have “Two Lips and Seven Kisses?”
The gas station attendant who answered the phone said, “No, but I have two nuts and seven inches!”
So the woman asked, “Is this a record?”
To which the man replied, “No, its average!”
A bloke walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads, "Cheese sandwich: 0.99; Chicken sandwich: 1.50; H*ndjob: 20.00."
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, the man walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three hot waitresses.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile.
"Can I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man.
"Are you the one who gives the h*ndjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs.
"Indeed I am."
The man replies, "Well, go and wash your hands. I want a cheese sandwich!"