Joke #1619

Men are like.....Government bonds. They take so long to mature.
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: men

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Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A. A widow.
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There is the chief of Indians, and he is going down a field with his tribe, and they come across a pile of sh*t.So the chief asks his tribe men : "Does this look like sh*t to you?" "Yes is does", they replied. "Smell it. Does it smell like sh*t to you", asks the Chief. "Mmmmm..Yes" "Feel it. Does it feel like sh*t to you?", says the Chief. "Mmmmm..Yes" "Lick it. Does it taste like sh*t to you?", inquires the Chief. "Ammmm...Yes" "Good. Don't step on it!"
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
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has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: communication, men, political, women
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
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has 64.79 % from 202 votes. More jokes about: food, men, sex, time, women
John was in trouble, really big trouble. You see, he forgot his wedding anniversary and, if you're married, you can imagine what he's probably going through. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!" She was serious too, so John got serious. The next morning he woke up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped, right there in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife threw her robe on and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house and opened in with much anticipation. Inside she found a brand new bathroom scale. John has been missing since Thursday.
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has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: men
How is a man like a microwave oven? Just another thing that heats up instantly and goes off in twenty seconds.
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: men
Men are like.....Weather. Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
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has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: men, weather
How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: beer, men
''Dyslexic man walks into a bra''
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man? Big Foot's been spotted several times.
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has 55.71 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: men