Men are like.....Government bonds.
They take so long to mature.
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Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash.
Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill.
"Here’s that $20 I owe you," he says.
This stupid bug is appearing on a blasted line which would blow up the toilet.
Then they go like "Tom tom tom tom" then back to the toilet and stupidly disgusted by a recently married woman and erecting a man in a toilet.
Vote:
Men are like buses.
One comes every 15 minutes.
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables.
The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?"
"Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?"
"Because you're really ugly," replied the man.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
Men are like.....Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
Q. What's the difference between men and government bonds?
A. Bonds mature.
Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. So if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.