Why don't women blink during foreplay? They don't have time.
A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, "1 enemy ship on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die." So the watchman comes to him and asks, "Why did you want your red shirt?" The captain says, "Because if i get injured they won't see and keep on fighting." So the watchman comes to him again and says, "20 enemy ships on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my brown pants."
God gave man his penis and his brain but blood only enough to work one another at a time.
Why can't single women fart? They don't get an asshole till they get married.
Men are like.....Government bonds. They take so long to mature.
What's the Australian Male's idea of foreplay? "Brace yourself, Sheila."
Adam goes to God and says, "I would like a mate to please me and make living joyful. She should be beautiful and perfect in every way. God says, "I can do that, but it will cost you a testicle, a kidney, and one eye." To which Adam replied, "Well, what can I get for a rib?"
"Lisa, why are you so angry with me?" "Because I'm Christine."
Question: Why do men fart more than women? Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.