Joke #8074

What did the male squirrel say when the female attacked him... Get away from my nuts.

A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach. Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff." So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away. Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away. Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"

A man walked into a curio store and was shopping around. After awhile, he chose a brass rat and brought it up to the counter. "That will be $10 for the brass rat and $1,000 for the story behind it," said the proprietor. "Thanks, but I'll just pay the $10 and pass on the story." He purchased the brass rat and left the store. As he was walking down the street, he started noticing all sorts of rats following him. The further he walked, the more rats followed. He walked down to the wharf and still more rats came out and followed him. So, he decided to walk out into the water, all the rats drowned. He returned to the store shortly. "Ah-ha!" said the proprietor. "You've come back for the story, right?" "Nope," said the man. "You have any brass lawyers?"

Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.

There are two cows in a field. One says to the other: "So what do you think of mad cow disease?" The other replies: "I don't know, I'm a chicken!"

When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train? When it's on the train.

Why did the whale like the diver? Because he had flippers.

Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.

What's green with red spots? A frog with the chicken pox!

"Why cant you play cards in the jungle?" "Because theres to many cheetahs."

Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.