What did the male squirrel say when the female attacked him... Get away from my nuts.
What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten? An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!
You said this horse could jump as high as a ten foot fence and he can't jump at all. Well neither can a fence!
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
Q: Why does a dog lick himself? A: He can't make a fist.
One day some soldiers from a nearby Army camp saw a boy leading a donkey. They thought they would have some fun with him. "Say, boy," called out one of the soldiers. "You sure are keeping a tight rein on your brother, aren't you?" "Sure am," said the boy. "If I didn't he would probably join the Army."
What is the definition of "derange"? De place where de cowboys ride.
I took my 7 year old son to the zoo today. We were walking around and soon he said, “Look Dad! It's a frickin' Elephant!” I was shocked and slightly angry, as everybody was looking at us. “What did you just call it?” I asked. “It's a frickin' Elephant, it says so on the picture!” he said, and so it did, A F R I C A N Elephant.
When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train? When it's on the train.
How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
Imagine being completely naked in room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you... This is life of a dog.