Joke #8074

What did the male squirrel say when the female attacked him... Get away from my nuts.
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What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten? An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!
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You said this horse could jump as high as a ten foot fence and he can't jump at all. Well neither can a fence!
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Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
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Q: Why does a dog lick himself? A: He can't make a fist.
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One day some soldiers from a nearby Army camp saw a boy leading a donkey. They thought they would have some fun with him. "Say, boy," called out one of the soldiers. "You sure are keeping a tight rein on your brother, aren't you?" "Sure am," said the boy. "If I didn't he would probably join the Army."
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What is the definition of "derange"? De place where de cowboys ride.
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I took my 7 year old son to the zoo today. We were walking around and soon he said, “Look Dad! It's a frickin' Elephant!” I was shocked and slightly angry, as everybody was looking at us. “What did you just call it?” I asked. “It's a frickin' Elephant, it says so on the picture!” he said, and so it did, A F R I C A N Elephant.
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When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train? When it's on the train.
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How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
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Imagine being completely naked in room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you... This is life of a dog.
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