Q: What creature has more lives than a cat?
A: A frog, after all, they croak every night.
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Why was the racehorse names Strawberry Ice?
He was a sherbet!
Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side… er, no… to go shopping… no, not that either… damn it!
A dog goes to a telegraph office and dictates a message.
‘Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.’
The operator reads it back then says, ‘Y’ know, we charge per ten words.
You could have an extra ‘woof’ for free.’
‘No thanks,’ says the dog.
What's a skunk's philosophy of life?
Eat, stink and be merry.
What animal do you look like when you get into the bath?
A little bear.
Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat?
A. Because he was pissed off!
One day a magical frog sees a bear chasing after a rabbit for dinner.
In an attempt to bring peace to his magical forest, the frog hops up to the two and promises them 3 wishes each if they stop this violence. After both animals agreed, the frog chooses the bear to state his first wish, first.
After thinking for a while, the bear says, "I wish for all the bears in this forest to be female except me."
Next is the rabbit's turn, "I wish for a motorcycle helmet," he says.
The bear laughed, what an idiotic wish to make he thought to himself.
The bear then says, "I wish for all the bears in this country to be female except me."
The rabbit next says, "I wish for a motorcycle that requires no gas."
The bear, almost tearing from laughter, says, "You could have wished for money to get those two things!"
He then proceeds to make his final wish, after thinking for a while, he says to the frog, "I wish for all the bears in the world to be female except for me!"
He smiles smugly.
The rabit then puts on his helmet, hops on his motorcycle, grins to the bear and says, "I wish for this bear to be gay."
Why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner?
He was already stuffed!
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What's gray and powdery?
Instant Elephant.