One roomate said to another, “Man, this morning I woke up with white crud around my mouth!”
The other roomate said, “Oh, that's my fault, I guess I missed!”
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
A man farts in bed next to his wife.
His wife asks, "What in the world was that?"
He replies, "Touchdown. I'm winning, seven nothing."
She decides to get even, so she lets one loose.
He yells at her, "What was that?"
She replies, "Touchdown, tie score."
He wants to get her back, but he tries so hard he sh*ts in bed.
The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?"
He replies, "Halftime, switch sides."
Vote:
Q: Whats the height of desperation?
A: A vampire sucking blood from a sanitary napkin.
Vote:
How many dead babies can fit in a barrel?
4 1/2.
Vote:
A businessman returns from the far east.
After a few days he notices stange growth on his penis.
He sees several doctors.
They all say: "You've been screwing around in the Far East, very common there, no cure. We'll have to cut it off."
The man panics, but figures if it is common in the East they must know how to cure it.
So he goes back and sees a doctor in Pakistan.
The doctor examines him and says, "You've been fooling around in my country. This is a very common problem here. Did you see any other doctors?"
The man replies, "Yes a few in the USA."
The doctor says, "I bet they told you it had to be cut off."
The man answers, "Yes!"
The doctor smiles, nods, "That is not correct. It will fall off by itself."
Vote:
Q: Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
A: They keep falling through the holes in his hands.
Vote:
A young, innocent couple goes on their honeymoon.
They get naked and jump into bed, but neither knows what to do.
Eventually, they decide to rub their noses together.
After awhile, they decide to rub their toes together.
Finally, they begin to rub their hips together.
Suddenly, the man jumps up and runs to the bathroom.
After several minutes, he returns to the bedroom, looking scared.
"What happened?" asks his bride.
"I don't know," he replies, "but something curdled my urine!"
Vote:
I don't like the term "anal bleaching".
I prefer "changing your ringtone."
Vote:
What is the definition of revenge?
A baby with a dog in its mouth.
Vote:
Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop?
A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Vote:
Q: What do you call a cow with no legs.
A: Ground Beef!
Vote: