Joke #6945

One roomate said to another, “Man, this morning I woke up with white crud around my mouth!” The other roomate said, “Oh, that's my fault, I guess I missed!”
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting

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There was an old married couple who love each other very much. But each morning as he was waking up the husband let out a huge nasty wet fart with his wife right in the bed next to him. The wife always says "One day you're going to fart your guts out if you don't stop." Then one day the wife snapped she won't take it anymore and she got up extra early when downstairs and got the guts out of a turkey and put it in the bed behind. She went back downstairs to wait and then she heard the loud disgusting fart all the way down the stairs and then she hears nothing for a long while. Just as she's about to go upstairs and check on her husband he comes stomping down the steps and he says "Honey you were right after I get my guts out but with the grace of God and these two fingers I managed to shove them back up there again."
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, fart, life, marriage
What's better than 10 dead babies in 1 bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags.
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A woman walks into a restaurant and sits down. As she bends down to reach into her purse for her wallet, she farts loudly with the waiter right behind her. She sits abruptly back up, glares at the waiter and shouts “Stop that!” To which the waiter replies, “Sure, which way did it go?”
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has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: Why was the condom flying through the air? A: It got pissed off.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What's grosser than gross? A: Two vampires fighting over a used tampon.
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One day, a guy walks out from a shop to see someone PISSING on his Ferrari. "Hey," says the man. "Why are you pissing on my Ferrari?" "Because I feel like it." "Tell you what -- I won't report you to the police if you can keep up with my Ferrari." "Whatever." So the guy gets in his car and drives off, going faster and faster, until he's hit 100 miles per hour. Amazingly, the guy is still keeping up. "I'm amazed," says the driver. "How are you keeping up?" "It's easy," says the running man, "when your d**k is stuck in the door."
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, disgusting
An eagle swoops down from the sky and eats a mouse. Three hours later, while the eagle is flying, the mouse sticks its head out of the eagle's butt and asks, "How high up are we?" "About 2,000 feet," the eagle replies. The mouse replies, "You ain't sh*ttin' me, are you?"
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has 69.53 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob. On the wall? Art. On the floor? Matt.
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has 34.09 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What's brown and taps on the window? A: A baby in a microwave!
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? A: Gulp.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, elephant