Joke #6945

One roomate said to another, “Man, this morning I woke up with white crud around my mouth!” The other roomate said, “Oh, that's my fault, I guess I missed!”

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel. "Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver." "I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart." "I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."

Your fart's so loud, astronauts in space mistook your fart for a message from Houston!

How do you know when your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood.

An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.

Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull must have drug him a mile!

What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? See ya next month.

One night my mother in law came to our home. In the middle of the night suddenly I was awakened by a horrible sound from WC. She farted. I was so angry that shouted and said: "Your food is under your feet and your weapons are complete get out and go to fight with ISIS!"

Q: What is the difference between a gay guy and a fridge? A: The fridge doesn't fart when you take out the meat.

What's red and sits in a corner? A baby playing with a razor blade.

One day a guy and a girl were making out in her parents' bedroom, and it was getting pretty steamy. All of a sudden, the guy takes out his shlong and places it in her hand. She screams and runs downstairs, through the kitchen, through the living room, the bathroom, the dining room, back upstairs, through her bedroom, her bathroom, her sister's bedroom, down the hall and back into her parents' bedroom. "Listen, pal! I have two words for you -- DROP DEAD!" "I have two words for you -- LET GO!"