One roomate said to another, “Man, this morning I woke up with white crud around my mouth!”
The other roomate said, “Oh, that's my fault, I guess I missed!”
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Q: What is worse than ten dead people in one trashcan?
A: One dead person in ten trashcans!
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Q: What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm?
A: "How are we supposed to find an egg in all this sh*t?"
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What went through the fly's mind as he hit the windshield?
His Butt!
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Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart?
A: You are the wind beneath my wings.
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After losing his fortune, a Texas oilman decided to spend his last twenty bucks at a whorehouse.
He entered and promptly went up to the Madam and asked her what he could get for $20.
The Madam gave him a lengthy stare and told him to go upstairs, last door on the left.
He proceeded to march up the stairs and entered the room.
To his shock and pleasure he saw a beautiful blonde waiting naked on the bed.
So he tore off his clothes and jumped on and started pumping away for dear life.
Upon orgasm he noticed that stuff started oozing out of her eyeballs.
He runs down to the Madam to report this and she looks at him turns around and yells, "Hey Charlie....... The dead one's full again!"
How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a used tampon and ask him what period it came from.
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Q: Did you hear about the annoying midget who went to a nudist colony?
A: He kept getting in everyone's hair.
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Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common?
A: They just didn't listen
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Q: How do you know you're in a vampire bar?
A: There's a string hanging out of your Bloody Mary.
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How is a soyburger like a dildo?
They're both substitutes for meat.
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