Joke #829

My penis was in the Guiness Book of Records... until the librarian kicked me out.
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has 75.94 % from 1475 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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Insurance companies are trying to set new guidelines before approving Viagra coverage. What will they use to set those guidelines? A growth chart.
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has 52.50 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: dirty, money, viagra
A man walks into a bar and says loudly, "Bartender, six shots!" The bartender looks at him and says, "Wow six shots, whats the occasion?" The man replies , "First bl*wjob!" The bartender then pours him a seventh shot and says, "Congrats man, this ones on me." The man then says , "Man if six shots cant get the taste out of my mouth I don't know what will!"
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has 82.88 % from 230 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A woman heads to the doctors office for her usual checkup. While there, the doc notices a strange rash on her chest in the shape of an H and inquires about it, "Oh, my boyfriend likes to wear his Harvard sweater during sex." The next day, another woman comes in, for a checkup. While there, the doctor notices a strange rash on her chest in the shape of a Y and inquires about it,"Oh, my boyfriend is really into wearing his Yale sweater during sex." The next day, another woman comes in, again, for a simple checkup. This woman too has a rash on her chest, and the doctor, catching on with the trend, asks,"So, Does your boyfriend go to Wisconsin?" The girl replies, "Nah, but my girlfriend goes to Michigan."
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has 73.41 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a dog have in common? A: Wet noses.
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has 68.14 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, dog
Billy woke up in the middle of the night, thirsty. Instead of going to the kitchen though, he goes to his parents’ bedroom, while they were about to have sex and his father had a condom in his hand. The father, surprised by his son entrance, bent over pretending to look for something. "What are you looking for?" Billy asked. "Aw, well..hmm.. I’m looking for a little mouse!" the father lied. So, Billy spontaneously: "Why..? To “jump” it..?"
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has 40.67 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Yo momma so fat when I crawl in her pussy I can't find my way out.
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has 40.53 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fat, insulting, sex, Yo mama
Jimmy was staring at a dog in the park whilst the dog was licking himself in inappropriate parts and said to his dad, "I wish I could do that." Jimmy's dad looked down at Jimmy and said, "Maybe if you ask the dog nicely, he might let you!"
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has 70.40 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What do you give the princess who has everything? A seatbelt and an airbag.
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has 23.59 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: dirty
While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man’s balls. To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decided to replace the missing testicle with a pickled onion. Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkup. “How’s your sex life?” asked the doctor. “Pretty good,” the man said, to the doctor’s obvious relief. But then the patient added, “I’ve had some strange side effects that are causing serious problems.” “What’s that?” the doctor asked anxiously. “Well, every time I urinate, my eyes water.” “Hmm,” said the doctor, thoughtfully. “That’s not all,” continued the patient. “When my wife does me orally, she gets heartburn.” “Hmm,” said the doctor, as his face reddened. “It gets worse, Doc. Now, every time I pass a hamburger stand….I get an erection!”
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has 74.74 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, food, life, sex
I've got something you can take up the chain.
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has 16.47 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: dirty