Joke #829

My penis was in the Guiness Book of Records... until the librarian kicked me out.
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has 75.92 % from 1474 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed, and dirty Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go." The physician was checking hers eyes and ears. "Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad." "Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked. The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."
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has 33.24 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, doctor, women
An ugly bloke walks into a pub with a huge grin on his face. "What are you so happy about ?" asks the landlord. "Well, I live by the railway and on my way home last night I noticed a woman tied to the tracks. I cut her free and we shagged all night !" "Did you get a blow job ?" asks the landlord. "No ..." he says, "I never found the head."
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has 73.01 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Their was a camel and elephant, the elephant said to the camel. "How come you have your t*ts on your back?" and the camel got offended so he told the elephant. "Well why do you have your d*ck on your face?"
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has 69.84 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
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has 67.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Boy in the bath with his mum. Boy says, "Whats that hairy thing mum ?" Mum replies, "That is my sponge." "Oh yes," says the boy, "The babysitters got one, I've seen her washing dads face with it ."
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has 85.42 % from 967 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stuart said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?
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has 75.23 % from 134 votes. More jokes about: dirty, family, marriage, sex, wife
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?" Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!" The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests. "Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
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has 47.48 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, math, teacher
Q: How do you cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? A: Tell them you can't cum.
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has 77.73 % from 160 votes. More jokes about: dirty, masturbation
Q: What's a blonde's favorite drink A: A cocktail.
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has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, blonde, dirty
A nun gets on a bus thats empty except for the driver. She says "I'm going to die soon but I want to have sex before I die. Problem is I must remain a virgin so it has to be to ass. I can't commit adultery, so the man must be single.Can you fulfill my wish?" "Yes" says the bus driver and fulfills her wish. Feeling guilty he says "I'm sorry I lied, I'm married with 3 kids." "Thats ok" replied the nun "I lied too." "My name is Kevin and Im going to a fancy dress party."
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has 75.46 % from 276 votes. More jokes about: car, death, dirty, gay, sex