What's grosser than gross? When you throw your underwear and it sticks to the wall. What's grosser than that? When you come back an hour later and it's moved up three feet.
Q: What can popsicles do that men can't? A: Come in five flavors.
You might be a redneck if you think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
Q: Why was the condom flying through the air? A: It got pissed off.
Q: What's brown and in the military? A: Gomer's pile.
What do a bungee jump and a Hooker have in common? They're both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're dead.
What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? See ya next month.
What's black, smells and has 17 tits? The bin bags outside the breast cancer ward.
Little Johnny comes home one day and says, "Mom! Little Mark next door has a penis like a peanut!" "What do you mean, Johnny? Is it shaped like a peanut?" "No," says Johnny. "It's salty."
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity? A: The crayons are still sticky.