When Chuck Norris donates blood, he gives twenty gallons. None of it is his own.
A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shit from anyone.
When batman is in trouble, he turns on the Chuck Norris signal.
Chuck Norris walked into the gold and silver pawn shop in Las Vegas. They made a deal. Chuck now owns the shop.
Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.
Chuck Norris lit a match and ended the Cold War.
Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common? A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.
If, by some incredible space-time parodox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.