What do you call a dog wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want, he cant hear you.
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What do you get when you cross a bunny with a spider?
A harenet.
A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals.
So he went to every house in his town.
To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse.
To the houses where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given.
He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening.
"Who's the boss around here?" he asked.
"I am." said the man.
"I have a black horse and a brown horse," the farmer said, "which one would you like?"
The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one."
"No, no, no, get the brown one." the man's wife said.
"Here's your chicken." said the farmer.
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How do you call a Triceratops with horns on his butt?
Tricera-bottoms.
Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?
A. Wheeeee.
Q: Why did the elephant paint himself diffrent colours?
A: So he could hide in the crayon box!
Why don't whales eat sushi very often?
Of course whales like sushi.
It's just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
Q:Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A:To stamp out fires.
Q:Why do elephants have flat feet?
A:To stamp out burning ducks
If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat and drop it?