Joke #8428

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

I got really love sick the other day working away from home. Went to the doctors and they said it was chlamydia.

Wives want to videotape the birth of their child, while husbands want to videotape the conception.

A wife tells her husband: "We never go out anywhere…" "Great, tomorrow I will be going to through our the garbage, you may join me…"

If you want your wife to pay attention to every word you say, try talking in your sleep.

A man and his wife enter a dentist's office. The wife says "I need a tooth pulled. No gas or Novocain -- I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible." "You're a brave woman," says the dentist. "Now, show me which tooth it is." The wife turns to her husband and says, "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear."

Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? A. They're married.

After 20 years of marriage, a wife finds out that her husband had been f*cking her for the past 20 years with a dildo! she is so angry she asks her husband to "Explain the dildo". The husband replies "explain the kids?!"

Marriage is not a lottery – you get a chance in a lottery.

Whats the difference between married men and parking spaces? Nothing all the good ones are taken.

Men are divided into two groups: 50% are wise and 50% have married.