Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork?
So you can tell which ones are still alive.
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Death is God’s way of saying, ‘Hey, you’re not alive any more.’
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Hitler: I asked for a glass of juice, not gas the Jews!
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Why would the cannibal only eat babies?
He was on a diet!
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Went to a Muslim birthday party the other day.
It was great fun, we blew up a bouncy castle and then had a really intense game of pass the parcel.
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What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
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How are a lawyer and a prostitute different?
The prostitute stops fucking you after you’re dead.
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Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall?
A: To see her crack.
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Two cannibals were having their dinner.
One said to the other "I don't like your friend."
The other one said, "Well, put him to one side and just eat the vegetables."
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Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment.
"I’m sorry," said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks."
"But I could be dead by then!"
"No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment."
How can you help a starving cannibal?
Give him a helping hand.
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