Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork?
So you can tell which ones are still alive.
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Patient: “Doctor, Doctor… I can’t stop stealing things”.
Doctor: “Take these pills for a week. If that doesn’t work, I’ll have a color TV”.
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I love blacks. It's a pitty they are not being traded anymore...
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Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
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Daughter: Dad, this guy told me the sweetest thing ever.
Me: What's that hunny?
Daughter: He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk.
Me: Tell that niggie if he fills up your gas tank, I'll break his exhaust pipe, ya dig?
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How did they know that the driver had dandruff?
They found his head and shoulders in the glove box.
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Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy?
He did okay until his business fell off.
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Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
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What's pink and spits?
A baby in a frying pan.
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Q. What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common?
A. They both live off dead Beatles.
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The crusty old managing partner finally passed away, but his firm kept receiving calls asking to speak with him.
"I'm sorry, he's dead," was the standard answer.
Finally, the receptionist who fielded the calls began to realize it was always the same voice, so she asked who it was and why he kept calling.
The reply: "I used to be one of his junior associates, and I just like to hear you say it."
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