Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork? So you can tell which ones are still alive.
First Cannibal: "Who was that girl I saw you with last night?" Second Cannibal: "That was no girl, that was my supper."
Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt was almost killed in a traffic accident? A: Some dick cut her off.
Why would the cannibal only eat babies? He was on a diet!
Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.
Why are little girls better than little boys? Because when you're finished using them as little girls, you can turn them over and use them as little boys.
When you're driving and Nicki Minaj is on all 3 radio stations at the exact same time, there's nothing left to do except crash your car.
Why is Hitler never invited to BBQ's? He always burns the franks.
There was a 3 car accident in Mexico yesterday, 84 people were found dead.
What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding? A baby in a microwave.
Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat’s milk. The older of the mothers pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. And they start reminiscing. "This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would be 24 years old now." "Yes, I remember him as a baby" says the other mother cheerfully. "He’s a martyr now though" mum confides. "Oh, so sad, dear" says the other. "And this is my second son Kalid. He would be 21." "Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born." "He’s a martyr too" says mum quietly. "Oh, gracious me…" says the other. "And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would be 18," she whispers. "Yes" says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school." "He’s a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes. After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says, "They blow up so fast, don’t they?"