Joke #8477

The Dove Bar's like an 80-pound wad of chocolate on a toothpick. If you're not careful when you take it out of the package, you'll snap your wrists.
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has 21.41 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, life

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If kim kardashian was a donut wat kind would she be? Chocolate filled.
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A Mexican, white guy, and a black guy all go to hell and the devil told them that if they can walk across his hand without burning in flames, then he will give them a second life on earth. The white guy was really confident...first step, he caught a fire a disappeared. The Mexican, nervously toke the first step and noticed that he wasn't dead, he took a couple more steps and disappeared. The black guy started walking and made it all the way across without burning to flames. Satan was shocked and asked him how he did it and the black guy replied "chocolate melts in your mouth not your hands"
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has 39.46 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: black humor, black people, chocolate, life, mexican
How do you prepare a dead baby for Valentine's Day? You shove a box of chocolates down his throat and a bouquet of roses up his ass.
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has 22.53 % from 181 votes. More jokes about: black humor, chocolate, dead baby, morbid, Valentines day
Q: How can you tell that a blonde been baking chocolate chip cookies? A: There are M&M shells all over the floor.
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has 48.41 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: blonde, chocolate, food, stupid
Q: What’s the definition of a pessimist? A: A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: life
While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man’s balls. To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decided to replace the missing testicle with a pickled onion. Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkup. “How’s your sex life?” asked the doctor. “Pretty good,” the man said, to the doctor’s obvious relief. But then the patient added, “I’ve had some strange side effects that are causing serious problems.” “What’s that?” the doctor asked anxiously. “Well, every time I urinate, my eyes water.” “Hmm,” said the doctor, thoughtfully. “That’s not all,” continued the patient. “When my wife does me orally, she gets heartburn.” “Hmm,” said the doctor, as his face reddened. “It gets worse, Doc. Now, every time I pass a hamburger stand….I get an erection!”
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has 75.00 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, food, life, sex
Life is like a box of chocolate. It doesn't last long for fat people.
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has 79.60 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: life
I'm not saying I'm racist at all, but... I put chocolate milk in back of the fridge.
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has 32.01 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, food, racist
Imagine, there are on the bus only 5 persons: A busman, an old woman, two younger women and one man. The old woman comes to the busman and tells him: "Dear busman, would you like to eat a few hazelnuts?" The busman says: "Yes, why not?" He takes the hazelnuts from her hand and eats them. This repeats even two times, but when the old woman offers other hazelnuts to the busman for the fourth time, the busman asks this old woman: "Madame, where do you take all these hazelnuts from? It is a real amount and I am already full." The old woman only says: "You know, dear busman, I have bought the chocolate with hazelnuts, the hazelnuts are very hard for my dental plate, so I have sucked them all out, brought it to you and you have already eaten them all."
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has 46.76 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: age, chocolate, dentist, disgusting, food
Scientists invented a machine to catch thieves. In 30 minutes in Canada the machine caught 10 thieves, in 15 minutes in the U.S the machine caught 5 thieves, in 3 minutes in Trinidad thieves stole the machine.
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: life, science