Joke #8519

Q: What did the sergeant tomato say to the slacker soldier tomato? A: "You better catch up!"
Vote:
has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A social worker is facing a mugger with a gun. "Your money or your life!" says the mugger. "I'm sorry," the social worker answers, "I am a social worker, so I have no money and no life."
Vote:
has 57.92 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: life, money, work
Can I help you? No. I just waited in the line for 30 minutes to say Hi.
Vote:
has 77.71 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: life
Lenin dies and goes to Saint Peter to tell him whether to go to hell or heaven. There was a big problem among the saints because the half of them wanted him to hell and the other half in Paradise. Then they asked God, who of course tells them to go to Hell. After a week of being in hell, devil visited St. Peter and complained: "This Lenin will destroy me. One week in Hell only and he has already started their courses and demonstrations." St. Peter much forced agrees to accept Lenin in Paradise. From that day and then there was a disturbing silence. After two months St. Peter goes to heaven and he sees what? Everyone sitting around and Lenin standing in the middle and talking. Among the distinguished listeners the Saint recognises Jesus Christ. He calls him and says: "God will punish you" And he answers: "Who? God? But God does not exist."
Vote:
has 27.59 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, heaven, life
Abraham Lincoln can finish a play better than the 2013 Broncos.
Vote:
has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, political
So I was at the local corner store one night and bought a pack of condoms. I went up to pay for them and the store clerk said would you like a bag? I said No, she's not that ugly. Then the 3 ladies behind me started giggling and I said wait sir, you'd better make that 3 packs.
Vote:
has 65.86 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: life, sex
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
Vote:
has 82.91 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: life, mean, men, women
Which runs faster, hot or cold? Hot. Everyone can catch cold.
Vote:
has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: life
Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, "I have to go change. I'll be back in a minute." Five minutes later, the the female egg walked out in a slinky "egg"lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body. Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely. "What are you doing?," the female egg asked. He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon."
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: food, life, time
Dentist (to the patient: "For God’s sake, stop making those noises and waving your arms. I haven’t even touched your tooth yet." Patient: "Yes, I know. But u’re standing on my foot."
Vote:
has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: doctor, god, life
Q: If Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton participated in a spelling contest, who would win? A: Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that "harass" is one word.
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life