Joke #3979

Life’s a bitch, and then you’re reincarnated.
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: life

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A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I’ll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She’s gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He’s gone. "OK, you’re up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch." Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say...
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: life
Three boys walk through the woods and suddenly hear cries for help. They follow the sound to the lake and see George W. Bush drowning. The boys jump into the water and drag him to shore. Bush asks the boys how he can repay them. The first boy says, "I want a boat." The second boy says, "I want a truck." The third boy says, "I want a nice tombstone." Bush asks, "Why is that?" The boy says, "Because when my dad finds out I helped save you, he's going to kill me."
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has 77.91 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, life, political
Q: Why are gays so happy? A: Becuase the luck does not have the courage turning back to them.
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has 50.54 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, life
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
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has 76.20 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: doctor, food, life
Is Snoop serious? Or is Snoop Lion?
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, life, music
A patient comes to a doctor, who asks him: - Do you smoke? - No. - Do you drink? - No. - Do you eat fast food? - No. - Don't worry, I'll find something anyways...
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, doctor, life
Patient: "Doctor, do you think that I shall live until I am ninety?" Doctor: "How old are you now?" Patient: "40" Doctor: "Do you drink, gamble, smoke or do you have any other vice?" Patient: "No. I don’t drink. I don’t gamble. I don’t smoke. I have no vice." Doctor: "Then why do you want to live for another fifty years?"
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has 76.19 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: age, alcohol, doctor, game, life
If you see me smiling, I'm probably thinking of doing something evil. If I'm laughing, I've already done it.
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has 80.44 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: life, mean
What do women and pools have in common? They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the little amount of time you're inside them.
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has 76.89 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: life, money, women
Who was the fastest runner? Adam. He was first in the human race.
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has 78.12 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: athlete, life