Joke #3979

Life’s a bitch, and then you’re reincarnated.
Vote: has 42.03 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

An old man and woman hate each other, but remain married for years. During their shouting fights, the old man constantly warns his wife, "If I die first, I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" One day, the man abruptly dies. After the burial, the wife goes straight to the local bar and begins to party. Her friends ask if she isn't worried about her husband digging himself out of the grave. The wife smiles, "Let the old bugger dig. I had him buried upside down!"
Vote: has 41.82 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, life, marriage, time, wife
FOUR stages of girl & boy relation! 1. hand in hand. 2. that in hand. 3. hand in that. 4. that in that.
Vote: has 76.80 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
Why does Rick Ross rap about cars when he cant fit in them.
Vote: has 69.05 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers. Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in the room. "Who do you want to play?" Spielberg asked Bruce Willis. "I've always been a big fan of Chopin," said Bruce. "I'll play him." "And you, Sylvester?" asked Spielberg. "Mozart's the one for me!" said Sly. "And what about you?" Spielberg asked Arnold Schwarzenegger. "I'll be Bach," said Arnie.
Vote: has 62.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
Abraham wanted a new suit, so he bought a nice piece of cloth and then tried to locate a tailor. The first tailor he visited looked at the cloth and measured Abraham, then told him the cloth was not enough to make a suit. Abraham was unhappy with this opinion and sought another tailor. This tailor measured Abraham, then measured the cloth, and then smiled and said, "There is enough cloth to make a pair of trousers, a coat and a vest, please come back in a week to take your suit." After a week Abraham came to take his new suit, and saw the tailor’s son wearing trousers made of the same cloth. Perplexed, he asked, "Just how could you make a full suit for me and trousers for your son, when the other tailor could not make a suit only?" "It’s very simple," replied the tailor, "The other tailor has two sons."
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
How do you describe an angry potato? Boiling Mad.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life
A man was fishing in the jungle. After a while another angler came to join him. "Have you had any bites?" asked the second man. "Yes, lots," replied the first one, "but they were all mosquitoes."
Vote: has 47.86 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
Q: What's in the wardrobe? A: Narnia business.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, life
You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts... Man, and do you have life? OMG, No! Could you send me a link?
Vote: has 75.13 % from 281 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Facebook, IT, life, technology
I don't understand why people pay shrinks when I'll tell them what's wrong with themselves for free.
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, life