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What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A rumor.
The Perfect Man:
- wakes up at 5 am everyday
- exercises everyday
- makes his own bed
- cleans his room
- works sincerely
- does not touch alcohol
- helps in the kitchen
- does not indulge in night life
- always punctual
- prays daily
- hits the bed at 9 pm sharp
Such a perfect man can only be found in jail.
How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
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Men are like buses.
One comes every 15 minutes.
Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?
So they can find their way back to the house.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
What does a man make best for dinner?
Reservations.
A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk.
The head monk said, "You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every three years."
The man agreed and after the first 3 years, the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?"
"Food cold!" the man replied.
Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?"
"Robe dirty!" the man exclaimed.
Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?"
"I quit!" said the man.
"Well," the head monk replied, "I am not surprised. You have done nothing but complain ever since you got here!"
I love the lines the men use to get us into bed: "Please, I'll only put it in for a minute."
What am I...? A microwave?
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