If you catch a man…throw him back.
General Peter Pollock, the Navy Chief was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. General Pollock arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and Pollock asks: "So how are your men Marshall?" "Very well trained, Peter." "I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country." "Well, my men are very brave, too." "I'd like to see that." So Marshall calls an under-trainee and says: "James! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!" "Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!" As James ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered Pollock and said: "You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."
What is the difference between a man and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
Chinese and American are in a plane. Suddenly, Chinese puts his shoes off and American is angry. After some time, he goes to buy a coke, but Chinese says that he'll do it. While he's gone, American spits into his shoes. Chinese gets back and American drinks his coke. That repeats a couple of times,and after the flight American admits, "I spitted in your shoes, sorry." Chinese answers, "That's how we do it. We spit in each others shoes, we piss into each others cokes..."
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? A. They already have boyfriends.
Q: The male sex has two hobbies. What are they? A: His left hand and his right hand.
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Why do men buy electric lawn mowers? So they can find their way back to the house.
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male? All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
Q: What is difference between man and Superman? A: Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.
Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones.