Joke #8590

If you catch a man…throw him back.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: men

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Men are like.....Government bonds. They take so long to mature.
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How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? A. One - men will screw anything. B. One - men will screw up anything. C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.
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has 53.78 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, men
How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
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has 50.45 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: men
Chinese and American are in a plane. Suddenly, Chinese puts his shoes off and American is angry. After some time, he goes to buy a coke, but Chinese says that he'll do it. While he's gone, American spits into his shoes. Chinese gets back and American drinks his coke. That repeats a couple of times,and after the flight American admits, "I spitted in your shoes, sorry." Chinese answers, "That's how we do it. We spit in each others shoes, we piss into each others cokes..."
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: men
"What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?" "A Budweiser in each hand!"
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has 47.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, men
A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, "1 enemy ship on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die." So the watchman comes to him and asks, "Why did you want your red shirt?" The captain says, "Because if i get injured they won't see and keep on fighting." So the watchman comes to him again and says, "20 enemy ships on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my brown pants."
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has 75.20 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: death, men, pirate, war
A true gentleman holds the door for his woman... then smacks her ass as she walks by.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: men
A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?” “What dear?” She asked gently. “I think you bring me bad luck.”
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has 67.68 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: business, health, husband, men
General Peter Pollock, the Navy Chief was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. General Pollock arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and Pollock asks: "So how are your men Marshall?" "Very well trained, Peter." "I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country." "Well, my men are very brave, too." "I'd like to see that." So Marshall calls an under-trainee and says: "James! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!" "Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!" As James ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered Pollock and said: "You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."
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has 52.63 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: atheist, men, military, navy
Q: Why are there only snow men and not snow women? A: Because only men are dumb enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
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has 17.23 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: men, stupid, winter, women