Joke #8590

If you catch a man…throw him back.
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Why did God create man? Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
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Men are like guns. Keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.
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Bob saw his doctor and asked if he had ever laughed at a patient. "In over 20 years I haven't because I try to remain professional." With that Bob dropped his trousers revealing the tiniest dick the doctor had ever seen. It wasn't any bigger than a AAA battery. The doctor burst into uncontrolable hysteria. "I'm sorry I really am, I don't know what came over me, I promise it won't happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?" "It's swollen" said Bob.
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Q. Why were men given larger brains than dogs? A. So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
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Stupid? He wanted to be a farmer. So he studied pharmacy.
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Q: Why is it jewish men won't go down on a woman? A: Too close to the gas chamber.
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I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.
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How many men would it take to mop a floor? No one knows; they've never done it.
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Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract.
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Why are men like laxatives? They can irritate the s**t out of you.
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