Yo' Mama is so uptight, you need the jaws of life to part her legs.
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Yo mama's feet are so ashy, it looks like she kicks flour for a living.
Yo mama so stupid that when I was drowning I yelled out to her that I needed a life saver and she said "Cherry or grape?"
Yo mama's so fat, when I finished having sex with her and tried to roll off, I was still on her.
A man goes to his doctor after losing a lot of weight.
"I feel great, but I have a problem, doctor.
I was so fat beforehand that my skin has stretched and stayed that long.
Is there anything you can give me?"
"Hmm, short of plastic surgery, there is only one alternative.
Please take off your clothes."
The man strips down.
The doctor pulls all his skin upwards and ties it in a ball above his head.
"But doctor -- now my navel is in the middle of my forehead!"
"True," replies the doctor, "and you should see what you have for a collar and tie."
Your momma is so ugly when she gets her beauty sleep she falls into a coma!
Yo Momma's so stupid, she ordered a cheeseburger without the cheese.
Without you I can't breath.
I love you so much my nose.
Life is like a dick, sometimes it becomes hard for no reason.
Your so poor, I stepped in your house and stepped on a cigarette, and your mom said, "Who turned of the lights".