Yo' Mama is so uptight, you need the jaws of life to part her legs.
Yo mama's feet are so ashy, it looks like she kicks flour for a living.
Yo mama so stupid that when I was drowning I yelled out to her that I needed a life saver and she said "Cherry or grape?"
What's a skunk's philosophy of life? Eat, stink and be merry.
Man returning with his wife from guests. Drunk man drives car better than his sober wife. But there is only one problem, how to explain that to the policeman?
A young accountant spends a week at his new office with the retiring accountant he is replacing. Each and every morning as the more experienced accountant begins the day, he opens his desk drawer, takes out a worn envelope, removes a yellowing sheet of paper, reads it, nods his head, looks around the room with renewed vigor, returns the envelope to the drawer, and then begins his day’s work. After he retires, the new accountant can hardly wait to read for himself the message contained in the envelope in the drawer, particularly since he feels so inadequate in replacing the far wiser and more highly esteemed accountant. Surely, he thinks to himself, it must contain the great secret to his success, a wondrous treasure of inspiration and motivation. His fingers tremble anxiously as he removes the mysterious envelope from the drawer and reads the following message: "Debits in the column toward the file cabinet. Credits in the column toward the window. Prefer Wraps and females who think realistically pick Wholemeal.”
Yo mama so slow that when she tried to cross the road she got a parking ticket.
Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes? The police thought it was a cereal killer.
I could have been your daddy, but the line was too long.
Yo' Mama is so poor, she eats cereal with a fork to save milk.
Yo mamma so fat, it takes her two trips to haul ass.