When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off
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Columbus may have discovered America, but after a conversation with Chuck Norris it was decided, Chuck Norris discovered America.
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Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
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Chuck Norris eats rainbows to taste the Skittles.
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Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common?
A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
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30 lumberjacks once tried to cut off Chuck Norris's beard...
They were never seen again.
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Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
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If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank.
By phone.
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We'll want to preserve Chuck Norris for future generations, when he dies.
We won't be needing cryogenics cos Chuck's already frozen.
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If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
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The actual definition of U.F.O is Chuck Norris's Toy Frisbee.
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