Chuck Norris can tie your hands behind your back with both hands tied behind his back.
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Chuck Norris once shot someone with a knife.
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Chuck Norris once threw a pebble.
We now call it...Hayley's Comet.
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Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
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Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever.
That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
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Chuck Norris does not play the lottery.
It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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Eminem says "I'm not afraid".
Chuck Norris says "I love the way you lie"
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The Universe is not expanding.
It's running away from Chuck Norris.
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Contrary to popular belief there was a Chuck Norris sighting on the set of The Crow.
No Lee is allowed to live when Chuck Norris is around.
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If only telemarketers would have the balls to call Chuck Norris...
Then none of us would have to put up with them again.
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Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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