Chuck Norris can tie your hands behind your back with both hands tied behind his back.
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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
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Atlas doesn't drop the earth because he knows Chuck Norris lives in it.
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Chuck Norris actually died a while back.
Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
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Chuck Norris doesnt walk, the earth moves under his feet.
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Some of us can "save the day," Chuck Norris can save a century.
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The beatles originally said they were "Bigger than Chuck Norris", John Lennon was simply a warning.
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Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees.
He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.
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Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
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30 lumberjacks once tried to cut off Chuck Norris's beard...
They were never seen again.
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Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.
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