Chuck Norris can tie your hands behind your back with both hands tied behind his back.
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
Chuck Norris invented half when he round house kicked the number 1
Chuck Norris made a mistake once and it corrected itself.
Chuck Norris is so hot he makes the sun sweat.
Chuck Norris reads with his eyes closed.
Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.
Chuck Norris uses paper to cut scissors.
Chuck Norris actually went to Rome by all roads. At the same time.
Chuck Norris is the reason there is wind. The air tries to get away from him as fast as possible.
50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be.