Joke #5890

Chuck Noris can make grapes from wine.

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

Chuck Norris once drank wine from a chalice. This chalice is now known as the holy grail.

I was sat with my wife while she sipped on her glass of wine, when she said, "I love you so much, you know. I don't know how I could ever live without you." I said, "Is that you or the wine talking?" She said, "It's me talking to the wine.

The secret of enjoying a good bottle of wine: 1. Open the bottle to allow it to breathe. 2. If it doesn't look like it's breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth.

Chuck Norris doesn't give warnings. He doesn't have to, you should already know.

"I'm sorry for throwing red wine over all your dresses in the wardrobe last night," I told my girlfriend. "I've spent all day getting the stains out just to show how much you mean to me." "Oh, that's really nice," she said. "What did you use to remove the stains?" "Scissors," I replied.

There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee. He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.

Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.

I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine... I always get better with age. The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar.