Chuck Noris can make grapes from wine.
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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine.
But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Chuck Norris once drank wine from a chalice.
This chalice is now known as the holy grail.
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I've trained my dog to bring me red wine.
It's a Bordeaux collie.
Chuck Norris invented black.
In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light.
Except pink.
Tom Cruise invented pink.
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Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
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On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher.
The florist's son handed the teacher a gift.
She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers!"
"That's right!" shouted the little boy.
Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift.
She held it up, shook it and said. "I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy!"
"That's right!" shouted the little girl.
The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son, Little Johnny.
The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking.
She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she asked. "No," Little Johnny answered.
The teacher touched another drop to her tongue.
"Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," he answered.
Finally, the teacher said, "I give up. What is it?"
Little Johnny replied, "A puppy!"
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Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
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Q: What did the grape say when it was crushed?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
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Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
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