Chuck Noris can make grapes from wine.
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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine.
But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Chuck Norris once drank wine from a chalice.
This chalice is now known as the holy grail.
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At Christmas time, there's nothing I love more than sitting in front of a warm fire, mulled wine in hand, and singing Christmas songs until I slowly fall asleep.
Maybe that's why I'm no longer a fireman.
Overheard in a restaurant:
She: "This wine is described as full bodied and imposing with a nutty base, a sharp bite, and a bitter aftertaste."
He: "Are you describing the wine or your mother?"
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Men are like a fine wine.
They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd want to have dinner with.
Every box of raisins is a tragic tale of grapes that could have been wine.
Kim Kardashian use to be 8 feet tall until Chuck Norris uppercut both her feet and that is why her ass is so big.
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"I'm sorry for throwing red wine over all your dresses in the wardrobe last night," I told my girlfriend. "I've spent all day getting the stains out just to show how much you mean to me."
"Oh, that's really nice," she said. "What did you use to remove the stains?"
"Scissors," I replied.
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In some countries, criminals have the option of either going to jail or spending a day living with Chuck Norris.
No one has ever chosen Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris knows who A is.
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