Joke #201

What did the Zen Buddist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything.
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: life

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A pastor was caught stealing in the church by a member of the church. This was the conversation between them Pastor: Blessed are those who see and don't talk. Member: For they shall receive their share. Amen.
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has 82.56 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: church, life
There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, life
Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said someone may steal from it at night; so they created a night watchman, GS-4 position and hired a person for the job. Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning position and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, GS-12 and one person to do time studies, GS-1. Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Q. C. position and hired two people, one GS-9 to do the studies and one GS-11 to write the reports. Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?" So they created the following positions, a time keeper, GS-09, and a payroll officer, GS-11, and hired two people. Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?" So they created an administrative position and hired three people, an Admin. Officer GM-13, Assistant Admin. Officer GS-12, and a Legal Secretary GS-08. Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $280,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost." So they laid off the night watchman.
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has 85.10 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: life
The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, life
Why can't cinderella get in the basketball team? Because she keeps running away from the ball.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: life
Boy asks his Gran nervously, "have you seen my pills ... they were labeled LSD ?" Gran replies "fuck your pills ! Have you seen the dragon in the kitchen ?!"
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has 59.89 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: drug, life
An old couple celebrates their 50th wedding anniversary in their home. "Just think," the old man says, "we were sitting here at this same breakfast table, naked as jaybirds, 50 years ago." "Well," the old lady snickers, "what do you say, should we get naked?" The two immediately strip to the buff and sit back down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady says slyly, "My breasts burn for you now as they did 50 years ago." "I'm not surprised," replies the old man. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!"
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has 80.58 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, couple, life, time, wedding
A: Why are you late? B: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. A: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? B: No, I was standing on it.
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has 84.18 % from 278 votes. More jokes about: life
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you," The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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has 79.95 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, life, love, nerd
A man walks into a chemist’s and says, "Can I have a bar of soap, please?" The chemist says, "Do you want it scented?" And the man says, "No, I’ll take it with me now."
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has 28.27 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: life, science