Joke #201

What did the Zen Buddist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything.
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: life

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A grandmother is watching her grandchild playing on the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea. She pleads, "Please God, save my only grandson. I beg of you, bring him back." And a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new. She looks up to heaven and says: "He had a hat!"
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has 69.30 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: god, heaven, life
I have asked my mamma: "Mamma, why do we have 10 cock birds but only 1 hen?" Mama has said to me: "Because I want that she has a better life than I had."
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has 73.94 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, life, sex
How do you caculate the population of Russia? You roll a bottle of vodka down the street.
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has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, life
They've broken in my house so many times, they leave notes complaining about things: "The salt was low." "Pick up bread. We be back." Grease all over my stove they cooked and left the best chicken and dressing you ever want to lay your lips on.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: food, life
A patient: "Doctor, I don’t feel hungry after taking meal." Doctor: "Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit." (After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines). Doctor: "Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another one before you get-up."
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug, food, life
A single woman who retired just a few months back walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch in her neighborhood. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?' "Twenty-six," he said.
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: age, alcohol, life, old people, women
Life is like a dick, sometimes it becomes hard for no reason.
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has 79.21 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: dirty, life
What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
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has 21.96 % from 289 votes. More jokes about: baby, dead baby, disgusting, life, sex
Doctor (to the patient: "Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?" Patient: "Yes, sir. But I did not drink it." Doctor: "Why?" Patient (Pointing to the bottle): "Because it is written on the label: 'Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.'"
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: drug, health, life
Jeff and Mike are in a car accident and both die. Upon Jeff's arrival at the Pearly Gates, he is met by St. Peter. "Where is my friend Mike?" Jeff asked. St. Peter replies, "Well, Mike was not as fortunate as you. He went in the other direction instead of getting into Heaven." Jeff was bothered by this and asked, "Well, could I see Mike one more time just to be sure he is OK?" So, Jeff and St. Peter walked over to the edge of Heaven and looked down. There was Mike, on a sandy beach, with a gorgeous blonde in a bikini, and also with keg of beer. "I don't mean to complain, but Mike seems to have it pretty nice down there in Hell," says Jeff. "It's not as it appears to be," says St. Peter. "You see, the keg has a hole in it... and the blonde doesn't."
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has 78.31 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: beer, car, death, heaven, life