Chuck Norris can travel a negative distance.
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
Chuck Norris went to the virgin islands. Now they are pregnant.
When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt Everest by accident.
NASA is negotiating with Chuck Norris about using his roundhouse kick as a propulsion to get to Mars.
Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!