Chuck Norris can travel a negative distance.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
Chuck Norris went to the virgin islands. Now they are pregnant.
When Neil Armstrong first landed on the moon he saw aliens worshiping Chuck Norris's footprints.
Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!
When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone. Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt Everest by accident.